Developing Your Spiritual Gifts with Emily O'Neal

[00:00:00] Nikki La Croce: So I'm so excited to dive into this conversation with you, Emily. And I will tell you what I said to you last week, I feel like there's probably a reason that like, we're not recording today, whatever, who knows what it'll be or what it is. And I do feel like there is, the last week has been something where I have been recognizing how much more I want to be intentional about connecting spiritually.

And my wife has had a couple of moments where she's, really deeply connecting and sharing these meditative experiences with me. And it really just amplified my excitement around this topic. And to be able to like, ask you some more questions about who you are and what you do and how you've cultivated, as you refer to it, your extrasensory capabilities.

And yeah, I'm really happy to have you here to chat about it.

[00:00:51] Emily O'Neal: it's my favorite thing to talk about, so there won't be any problem with the chatting.

[00:00:56] Nikki La Croce: Perfect. and you're so easy to talk to, I was looking, at your Podmatch profile and I love just the way that you show up, is a, in, in written form explaining what you do and who you are and how, embrace what you do.

And it's exactly who you are. When, I speak to you, I feel like it, is so easy. You have such a gentle, demeanor that is also very informative. And so it's like the perfect balance of how I can receive information with the comfort and the warmth that I want to feel talking to somebody.

[00:01:32] Emily O'Neal: Oh, good.

I'm glad that makes me feel good. Cause I do, I put effort into that. I want to try to show up, online or however. In a way that's authentic and does reflect who I am and what my values are as a person. And you just never know because it's me looking at my stuff. I'm like, is that ? How does that That's who I'm, that's who I'm, yeah. Yeah. And I constantly go back and do refine it. 'cause I've been through a lot of. been through a lot over the last couple years as I think a lot of us have and things have definitely changed for me and I've had to do some re evaluating that's for sure.

[00:02:16] Nikki La Croce: Oh yeah.

perhaps that's a place where we can jump off in terms of, How long have you, been in touch with your extrasensory abilities? you're a psychic medium, is that correct? Is that how? Yeah.

[00:02:36] Emily O'Neal: I call myself an evidential psychic medium because it's a new phrase.

And I use the word evidential because I want people to know that I'm going to bring forward information that can be validated.

[00:02:52] Nikki La Croce: And so

[00:02:52] Emily O'Neal: you'll see a lot of people who are psychic mediums not do that, or put themselves in an environment where they might be tapped in and they might be bringing forward information that's, maybe it is true, but it's not a situation where the information can be validated as such.

So

[00:03:12] Nikki La Croce: can you give me an example of what that would be for somebody?

[00:03:16] Emily O'Neal: Okay. the way I see it happening a lot is people will be like, I'm channeling this spirit energy, or maybe it's a deity. Maybe you are, but, and you're giving forward information, but nobody can tell, validate if that's true because nobody knows the deity.

Nobody's met. You know what I mean?

[00:03:34] Nikki La Croce: Yeah. Yeah. It is truly like you have to hone in on the belief and the faith that is true.

[00:03:39] Emily O'Neal: Yeah. And I, and and I think that, that, can be problematic for a couple of reasons, but, and then the other one I see a lot is channeling like dead historical figures or, celebrities that have passed away and without the consent.

of their family or friends, people will go online and do that and say, like the most recent one I saw a ton of was like Matthew Perry and so psychic mediums were going on. I'd be like, I have Matthew Perry and here's what he's saying from the other side. Nobody can validate that. His friends and family didn't consent to that.

And to me, that's unethical and kind of a violation of trust and it doesn't. exemplify the type of work that I would stand behind. I'm not saying these people don't have the skill and ability as psychics and mediums. Probably they do. It's just the way that they put it on display and in ways that I think don't align with my personal values and, fair enough.

but those things tend to be really popular, particularly on, on TikTok and stuff like that. And it disturbs me.

[00:04:48] Nikki La Croce: I, that's really interesting too to think about

sort of the abuse of that power, so to speak. if, it's true, there's this ethical conundrum that you're speaking to that as somebody who doesn't have this ability, or at least hasn't honed this ability, wouldn't even consider. Then, there's the flip side of it too, where, People want to believe what they want to believe.

And so if somebody's putting it out there, then people will, glom onto it and be like, Oh, I saw this or I heard this. and whether it's related to spirituality or anything else at this point on the internet, like attempt to try to validate it. So what, how, do you actually, provide some form of evidence that like what you're doing is, truly connected in the way that you do?

[00:05:44] Emily O'Neal: the most, it's actually pretty simple as you, you put yourself in an environment where you can get information that can be validated. And the way that I do that is when I work with clients or with the public, It's somebody that I've never met and that I don't know. There's no way they could have given me the information.

I don't ask them for pictures. I don't ask them for names. I don't ask them for any information. And I meet with them. I do education before we begin the reading. So I'll tell them like the way the process will work, how I need them to respond to me. If they've ever had a reading or an experience before.

We take a deep breath together, get all on the same page, because it's really important for me to be connected with my sitter, who is the person I'm reading for, as well as whoever is coming through for them in spirit. And once I make a link to the spirit communicator, I'll just start giving them information, and then they'll pause and say, can you, does that make sense to you?

And they'll either say yes, no, or I don't know. And a lot of times if it's, I don't know, more information will come and then they'll be like, Oh yeah, that makes sense. and I might get some no's where they're like, I can't understand that. And that's just part of the process.

[00:07:00] Nikki La Croce: can I ask a question real quick?

so I've only been to a medium once. It was a gift. from my in laws, and my wife. so spirituality, as I mentioned to you when we originally spoke is something that I would say I'm fairly new to in the sense of like how I'm exploring it more and I'm much more open minded to it. So I grew up, raised Catholic.

I don't, believe organized religion. I actually have a fundamental issue with it. I, people are entitled to their beliefs as with spirituality, as with anything, but for me, it just doesn't jive. And when I lost my mom's spirituality, like right before, in fact, I think it was becoming more important to me.

But especially after losing my mom, you really crave that connection and that ability to be like, how can I remain in touch with you in some way?

[00:07:44] Emily O'Neal: And

[00:07:45] Nikki La Croce: so when I went to this medium, I think she must have some sort of similar practice to what you do in the way that you're asking and inviting. And, I'm curious, like when you're, doing that and somebody says, I don't know, have people ever come back and said that they have thought about it or gained more information after the fact and then were able to validate something?

[00:08:12] Emily O'Neal: Yep. Oh yeah, for sure. And sometimes that validation happens quickly. like within a matter of days or weeks, and sometimes it happens in years. Cause you can bring forward a piece of information that won't make sense for years. And for me, having gotten readings, cause obviously I get them, that's happened to me where something I could, someone said something to me like 20 years ago, I mean that long ago.

And I'd held, I was like, whatever, and then way down the line, when I got to this period in my life, I'm like, Oh my God, that's exactly what she mentioned to me. And it was years. So the way that I approached those things, as I tell people, write it down and hold it gently, don't obsess over it and don't try to make it fit.

There is a little bit of magic and mystery to the process and just know that everything will come together and make sense to you. when it's supposed to. If I'm doing my job right and giving you accurate information, then eventually things will fall into place. And, that's hard. I think that's the hard part for people when they go and get readings is sometimes they will get information and then it's Oh, I have it.

It's not happening yet. And I'm in this in between space. And then you wonder about it. And, Fair enough. that happens to me too. It sparks the

[00:09:38] Nikki La Croce: curiosity, right? Yeah. And it was interesting too, because when you said, I don't ask people for photos, like I don't know anything about them. this woman knew zero percent about me, like nothing whatsoever.

In fact, because my wife's name is Nicole, she actually thought that I was the one who booked. The, the session and I was like, no, it's not me. So like she had no context for who I was. Yeah. And Nicole had said to me, if there's something that you wanna bring with you, like you don't show it, but just bring something with you that might like, make you feel more connected.

Yeah. And so one of my friends who passed away when I was 16 I have a necklace from him that I wrapped up in my hand and stuffed it in my pocket.

[00:10:18] both: And

[00:10:19] Nikki La Croce: I'm sitting there and during the reading, the medium had made a comment about like he's holding something that's like a braided bracelet or something.

And now it hit, the way I'd folded the necklace was like, so it would have been bracelet sized and it looks like a braid. And I was like, this is, I went in being like, I'm skeptical, but I'm open because I'd never been to a medium before. So my process was

[00:10:44] Emily O'Neal: healthy. Yeah.

[00:10:46] Nikki La Croce: I'm going to allow this to be what it is and whatever the experience is.

I can allow it to unfold to your point. And so when that happened fairly early on, I was like, Whoa, that's crazy. How I last minute grabbed this thing and put it in my pocket. And so there was that moment. And then there was another moment too, where she mentioned something where it ended up being, I hadn't even told her my mom had passed away and bringing her sort of forth and mentioning certain things that were like very eerily, connected to how I think her passing happened.

But then she's she's handing you a ring. And the ring that I wear as my wedding ring is a ring that I took from my mom's jewelry box that was my Nana's ring. And I was like, okay, I'm sold. there were these like little bits and pieces that going in. I was, I think, in your messaging, you speak about, being skeptical or curious.

And it was like, I was both of those things. And I think you need a healthy balance of that when you're first exploring it. So you don't over index on this is what I expect to come from it, and then you're disappointed or you feel like it's not real or whatever, but then also that you can, appreciate the, light and the magic and the mystery, as you said.

[00:11:58] Emily O'Neal: Yeah, because I feel like if you're working as a psychic medium, you're wanting to help people heal and know that love and that connection It doesn't ever die and we still have access to our loved ones on the other side and they still know what's going on in our life and they're still very present and very with us.

They're not physically here, but you can feel them like those times where a song comes on and you think of them, they're with you. When you have random memories, they're with you. when you just feel like. I don't know. It's hard to put it into words, but it's Oh my gosh, I know you're there. They can help you with things and support you in ways that they never could when they were in life.

That's the other thing I've learned. It's wow. In a lot of ways they see me or you or life very differently since they've passed and the capacity for love and empathy and compassion expands profoundly.

[00:12:55] Nikki La Croce: That's so true. And I love that you phrased it that way too. Nicole had said to me, when I would have these really hard times and her friend, one of our friends, Kayla, who's also like very, connected and intentional about being, connected spiritually.

Like they were both like, but your mom, like it's different now, but she's there. And in a, in a, to your point, a bigger way because there's so much more capacity for it. And it was a really. helpful part of my healing journey to embrace that rather than to feel the resistance of just she's gone.

I don't have any of that. And it's funny because Nicole will say to me, you, I So many things remind you of your mom, and I'm like, this would make total sense given her personality. Cause she's there's no way you're forgetting. you're just not going to, it's I'm here. It's that song.

It's that, thing that I taught you, the flower that you remember the name of, those little bits and pieces. And. Yeah. So whether that's, in the way we think of it, it's, oh, spirits there in this moment. It's also, I think the way that we hold on to, as you said, it's a feeling that they're there.

And for me, I really feel like when I connect, it's very energetic. Like I feel it in my body. Yeah. And so there's a lot that like comes forth for me when I do sit with the quiet and I open myself up to more, connection. It's like very, like a very physical sensation for me. It

[00:14:19] Emily O'Neal: is physical. I always tell people that I have a very physical job.

[00:14:24] Nikki La Croce: It's yeah. it wears you out too, from what Nicole said. Cause she's getting more into her own practice and she's just it's draining.

[00:14:30] Emily O'Neal: Sometimes I feel like it's I wouldn't say that I ever feel drained by it, but it's more of I have to take good care of myself to be able to do the work.

I think we all need to do that. But I do need exercise. I try to eat good and not stay up too late and do things like that because it doesn't make it harder. if you're worn out or stressed out to do the work, because the whole idea is that you become passive and receptive. So if you're having troubles that can be hard to do.

so in that way, there's some challenge in I need to be in the right mindset, physically available, things like that. So I have to set aside my life, what's going on in my life completely, it has to be off to the side so that I can focus on helping the person that I'm working with. So in that way, I find challenge.

But in terms of getting tired or exhausted, that happens to me when I'm like doing my meditation practices, and it is revealed to me through those practices, I get a little help from some spirit guides, sometimes of my own personal internal wounds,

[00:15:41] both: and my

[00:15:42] Emily O'Neal: own self work that I need to do. And so I always say, for people who are intuitive, which we all are, we just have to cultivate the skill set, right?

yeah. If that's happening, there's probably a big personal evolution that's coming and there's something coming through you that wants to be seen. And that probably has to do with some of the more complicated or uncomfortable things. in your life or things that you've experienced. And, it's nothing to be afraid of at all.

but it does mean take good care of yourself. do, if you're tired, do get that rest. And like you said, it's physical. So through the body, feeling into the signals that your body is giving you and being able to describe the sensations and be present with them and actually interact with them. like, why are you here?

Like, why do I have this sensation? Why am I feeling tired after these things come up? Because the answers will come. It will just come. I don't, it just, if you're able to wait for the answer and be very, present in the moment, you'll, it will be revealed to you what's going on.

[00:16:50] Nikki La Croce: I really appreciate that explanation.

I, I just, I love that we're having this conversation because I feel like you speak to all these things in such a really, accessible way. And it's something that I feel like as someone who was, when I say I was skeptical when I went to Medium the first time, that was like, I had acknowledged that I know what I'm going to, and I'm happy to do this.

I wouldn't have selected to do this myself. And I'm glad that I was encouraged to do it, invited to do it, I should say. because I'm really, I, it was a great experience for me to have, but what I think, something that you said around, we're all intuitive. We all have that. Like we can cultivate it.

I was talking to Nicole this morning and I said, do you have any like questions that would be. Good for me to ask because, you're really trying to understand more and harness more and grow this. And she said, if you can ask Emily, how can you tell if it's like spirit or you? Like how do you trust?

How do you trust that? Because she's I feel like I know. But there's this part of me that has some doubt. And I remember when we first spoke you sharing I think a little bit about that on your own journey.

[00:18:06] Emily O'Neal: Yeah, it certainly does take practice. and I would say to you that, it's different for everybody how you suss that out.

it's a very unique process to each individual, but essentially the tools and techniques that one can apply, everybody can use. For me I know the way my mind is and I know when it's engaged because of my familiarity with my mind. Okay. For me, I know what the difference between a thought and like a psychic message or like a message from spirit, but that came from practicing.

And that's why I always tell people that like working in community to develop the skillset so helpful because you can practice on each other. You can practice like getting psychic messages or intuitive messages and you can practice connecting with spirit communicators and work on each other and then you learn.

Oh, that was my mind coming in versus this was information that I was receiving from my clear senses or a spirit communicator or both or elsewhere. And I would say that, for me, my mind is an analytical process oriented mind that wants to put the pieces together and give me an answer. And my intuition is not that.

going to do is not that. Does that make sense? Like it's very different, has a very different feeling. And I call it a tone. Cause you know how music notes or chords resonate in your body. So does this information. So I know the tone of my mind and how that feels running through my body. I know the tone of my psychism and mediumship and my intuition.

I know what that feels like. And I know the difference. And it took practice for me to do that, and I didn't always have a community to practice with, so I had to, learn the hard way like most of us do, and I think the thing that was really helpful for me was having an intuitive nudge, ignoring it, and then wishing I hadn't.

And that's how I learned. It was like, Oh, I can trust that those nudges. I know what they feel like. I know that they come for a reason. And the other thing I would say is reflecting on those times where you did have a knowing and ignored it. It's not a way to. be mean to yourself. It's like, why didn't I listen?

That's something to evaluate too, because we do have to build trust with our inner guidance system and our intuition. We have to believe that it exists. We have to believe that we can rely on it. And the truth is, it's there all the time and it will never fail you. It won't. it's just as intact. I think it's just as inherent thing that is within all of us.

It's our mind and our behaviors and our trauma and everything we've been through that can get in the way of that. And there's a lot of valid reasons why people have a hard time connecting with your intuition. I just had a conversation with a friend about this. If you're having to live in survival mode every day, I'm not saying your intuition can't come in, but It's you're trying to survive, right?

So that's your primary focus. So most of your awareness is wrapped around surviving.

[00:21:39] Nikki La Croce: Yeah.

[00:21:39] Emily O'Neal: we need to be in a passive and receptive state to really get tapped in. And so if we're fight, flight, font, freeze are consuming us, then it can be harder to connect with that. I'm not saying it would be impossible.

I've definitely experienced intuitive nudges in moments of deep stress. For sure it can happen, but if you're wanting to I'm going to tap in now and you're in that mode, it's going to be a little bit more challenging. Is this to be challenging to do a lot of things when you're having to be in that state?

So I think it, I think that's a factor too. So the reality is it's not that, it's not that hard to do the tools. It's us that makes it hard. Does that make sense? Like, everything in life, we are

[00:22:25] Nikki La Croce: innate humanness just like screws with us to the point where we like can't trust it. I hate that.

You said a lot of things, though, that I really appreciate, Emily, and I feel like the first is that sense of when you get the nudge and you know that there's something going on. I used to always think that I, I would always say I had a really good gut instinct for when bad things were gonna happen.

I was just like, I, like knew before I knew. And, now what was hard for me as I came out of a very traumatic relationship was being like, what if that was hypervigilance?

[00:23:09] Emily O'Neal: Yes.

[00:23:11] Nikki La Croce: And, what if that was intuition? And I think at times it was a combination of both to your point.

[00:23:15] Emily O'Neal: Yep. But I

[00:23:16] Nikki La Croce: can tell you with.

a lot of assurance that when I was finally like in a place of peace and it's funny because even talking to you about this now, like my body goes into the place of remembering the anxiety, the stress, all of that stuff and being like, I couldn't connect with anything. I stopped dreaming like for probably two years.

I wasn't even dreaming and I forgot. God, how vivid and elaborate my dreams could be.

[00:23:42] Emily O'Neal: Yeah. And

[00:23:42] Nikki La Croce: then once I was like finally at peace and I'm in the comfort of a home with somebody that I love and I feel like at ease, everything starts flowing in again, right? And so I think in that regard, there's this feeling of your subconscious can deactivate when you're in that stage of, fight.

flight freeze fawn, like you said, and that's not scientifically being like your subconscious is deactivating. That is not a scientific claim at all, but it's like that feeling of it can't be as engaged or in touch because you're so like tunnel vision on whatever it is that you're navigating. And I feel like your nervous

[00:24:14] Emily O'Neal: system is activated.

[00:24:16] Nikki La Croce: Yes, exactly. Yes, exactly. And I feel like that was one of the things where it was probably a big contributing factor into why I could get more in touch with my sense of spirituality. I was being invited by the circumstances in my life to, to give more space to that. And I was open to it, but it was like I had the ability to be there and be present and have the capacity to explore it.

so that I could learn to trust certain things that I was getting. Now, I don't, I wouldn't say I, don't see myself as somebody, at least at this juncture, who channels in any way, but, I do feel like I understand a bit about, you said the clairs, right? And you said whether it's like your clear senses or, connecting with spirit.

So I would have considered those sort of to be the same thing. thing is it different because one sort of your perception and the way that you're gathering the information, the other is more like actually feels some sort of like message in a way.

[00:25:17] Emily O'Neal: that's actually probably a really good question.

So our clear senses are the language of the unseen world and how we connect to it. Part of how we connect to it. The, like this, if we're talking about spirit. Or spirit communication. Spirit is spirit, right? It's the entity or the energy that we connect with through those senses and we, they give us information through this language.

I think of it as a whole language because it's not like you might get some words, you might get some images, but you really get it. A sense like through your body of a feeling like I feel like I all of a sudden need to talk about a goldfish and you don't know why or I'm, getting this image and it's get this feeling.

And I think, You can feel spirit energy draw close to you too. that's the other thing. An example I give to people is go sit next to a tree. feel, you can feel the energy of a tree. Like you can feel it. we can, nature is a great way to help to cultivate your connection to the unseen world in the language of it.

Cause you can, feel, you can feel the energy of animals or a crow has a different essence than the hummingbird, because if you observe them and you, it's not just your mind seeing that you can feel that they have a different feel to them. And that's a good, that's a good

[00:26:48] Nikki La Croce: analogy too, because I feel

[00:26:50] Emily O'Neal: like

[00:26:51] Nikki La Croce: I see both of those quite often where we live.

And I feel like. There's a lightness, there's an airiness, there's like a fairy esque nature to a hummingbird and a crow. It's like inherently this like darker, more intense like presence, and not just in color obviously. And it's funny because for a long time I think I felt like a little bit resistant to crows because of this.

[00:27:16] both: And then I

[00:27:16] Nikki La Croce: learned how smart they are. And I feel like it changed my vibe a little bit. I was like, they're, up to stuff. I feel like they, they know things.

[00:27:24] Emily O'Neal: And have you ever met a person who you can just, you feel their essence when they walk into a room, whether you know them or not, you're like, Oh, that person has a quote vibe.

And it's not a judgment that you're passing on. Some of you just get this feeling. That's probably coming from your clear sense. It's probably your intuition, giving you some information about them, whether you wanna get to know them or not. Yeah. And people used to always say, Emily, you're so judgmental.

I'm like, I'm just, I'm just picking up on the vibes. That's not really, yeah. I'm not passing judgment on anybody. I'm just like, oh, I can. And I like I could tell, like I could read a room like I don't, you don't have to tell me anything. I'm a very observant and I think that's where you get to the point like, am I hypervigilant and getting this, just 'cause I'm.

like very observant or is it intuition? And I do think that there is definitely a blend there when we're in our regular, awareness, like day to day awareness, where we can explore that more is when we intentionally enter into a state of passive awareness. receptivity.

[00:28:27] Nikki La Croce: You keep using this phrase and I really want to tap into that because I wrote it down when you said it the first time and I was like a passive and receptive state.

Okay. So what does that look like?

[00:28:36] Emily O'Neal: So I like to use the analogy of the circle of awareness. So this really helped me. So in my normal day to day life and within my awareness, which I think of as a sphere, I've got my to do list. I've got to take care of the animals. I've got my job, like I'm doing, I'm active.

I'm plant going through my day. So my sphere of awareness is full of day to day tasks, things like that. My worries for the world, all that stuff. When I sit in meditation or when I'm working that sphere of awareness, I clear it out and I become passive and receptive so that I can receive. So what can comes into my sphere of awareness is the messages for the person that I'm working with or for myself.

If I'm just like, Trying to help myself out with some intuitive work. And, my energy, so my awareness goes beyond like this, my body, like it expands the edges of my body, soften and it broadens out to fill the room. It gets bigger. And I can feel it getting bigger. I could do it.

I'm talking about it. I'm like, here it goes. My awareness is expanding. I'm talking myself into this passive and receptive state. And it's really interesting because, when they study mediums brains, which I think is really cool. I think that's awesome that there are that mediums when they're working or doing their brains start engaging in all these different places.

So we're like

[00:30:02] Nikki La Croce: places that are different than like where you are activated in a day to day basis. Yes,

[00:30:07] Emily O'Neal: very different. They don't, I don't think they know what it means yet, but they do study mediums brains all the time trying to figure out like, how do you do that?

[00:30:16] Nikki La Croce: Oh, that's fascinating. I didn't even, I didn't have all the things that I Google.

I never once occurred to me that I should ask. I think

[00:30:23] Emily O'Neal: there's an institute called, I hope I'm accurate about this, the Windbridge Institute. A woman had an experience with a medium and then she's I'm studying this. I want to figure out how this works. And so it's a nonprofit that's trying to, using the scientific process as I understand it.

study mediums and, understand more about how it works. I don't want to be a conspiracy theorist or anything, but I feel like the government has studied this stuff. I know that governments across the world have and have used psychics and mediums to solve crimes and that's a thing. they don't talk like you don't talk about it.

Are there shows about,

[00:31:03] Nikki La Croce: are there shows about what the psychiatric should be?

[00:31:05] Emily O'Neal: Yeah, there's rules around how that works and stuff like that. if people hire psychics and means to solve crimes or do different things, it's kept on the DL. And I think I would assume one would need particular training around that and like solving cold cases that have been closed.

I think that's where they might bring them in. But yeah, there's all kinds of like different pathways for how the skill and ability can be used. And obviously my primary emphasis is You don't have to be a professional psychic and medium, medium to use these skill sets to make your life more full.

You can just use them to enhance your spiritual practices and self care practices.

[00:31:44] Nikki La Croce: I love that. That's how you think about it. I feel like that's one of the things that like really. felt so connective. Again, just like reading about you when we first met and then having the chance to chat on our first call.

When you talk about somebody just having a vibe, I feel like you have a vibe. And it's this very, as I said, warm, but it's it's very intentional and intellectual about what you're doing, why you're doing it, and how you can communicate that to people. And what I feel is so valuable in part about what you're doing, because there's so much value in it, is that to even just be aware of some of these things that tie it back to what's the actual thing that's happening in the brain of a medium, right?

Or it's not, I think it's really important for people to feel Because this is how I would say, in my own experience, like I need, I needed there to be some sort of way for me to validate a little bit, what is what am I hearing? What am I feeling? is this accurate from what somebody is giving me or from what I'm witnessing or how I'm experiencing things?

And it's I think when you know that there's like a little bit of intention, even to research, to understand, to be like, it's viable, right? Like these are things that people use. As you said, this is a tool that somebody can use in their everyday life or in a variety of ways to benefit. And I feel like we need to find, Or not we need to find.

I think that we're in a place in time right now where because people are more receptive to it, it's opening up a lot of opportunity to have more dialogues that people were very, I think dismissive of or like discredited. But then when you look at the things that have credibility and I'll use air quotes for anybody who's just listening is like a lot of that stuff's bullshit anyway.

So realistically, yeah. Why not allow, the belief to be there? And if it plays out and you feel like you can validate your connection to spirituality or what other people are sharing with you around spirituality, then great. But to me, when people think about it being like woo, I'm like, I feel so much more bought in on spirituality and the idea of the universe and quantum physics than I could ever be about any sort of organized religion.

To me, that's so much less validated. And it's not to get into a, deep debate with people on this. It's just for me, truly, it's I can buy more into the sort of malleability. of

[00:34:14] Emily O'Neal: spirituality versus like

[00:34:16] Nikki La Croce: the rigidity of a religion.

[00:34:18] Emily O'Neal: Yeah. And I think that's really interesting. I definitely, I, don't follow a religious practice either, although I'm familiar with many and have had exposure to many and more of a spiritual person.

And I choose to derive that my connection to spirit through, nature and through things like that. But I would offer this thought, something to think about. Spirituality in the that whole realm, which is very vast, and there's a lot of different trail heads and access points to this world of quote, spirituality, just as there are to religion.

They can both be used to control and manipulate people. They both can, and they can both be used to engage in spiritual and emotional bypassing. I'd rather do this spiritual practice than look at what I'm doing as a person because I'm uncomfortable, that type of thing. So

[00:35:09] Nikki La Croce: funny, somebody just said to me spiritual bypassing yesterday and explained it to me.

So I wouldn't have known what you were saying. So basically,

[00:35:17] Emily O'Neal: I think a lot of people don't know what it is. I don't think. Would you mind

[00:35:19] Nikki La Croce: explaining that just a little bit? Sure.

[00:35:22] Emily O'Neal: So it's when we use spiritual practices, tools, and techniques as a way to just access, quote, the spiritual self, like love and light.

It's all just love and light, that kind of a vibe. And we avoid the more complicated things about the human experience. And we avoid the more complicated things about our personal experience that we need to explore so we can all evolve as a human being. race. So to me, it's connected to making sure that we're not using these tools to overlook systematic oppression, that we're not using these tools to bypass our own, like for me, white supremacist stuff that's in me because I'm a white woman with privilege.

I've got to always be exploring how that might be coming through my spiritual practices. Cause let me tell you. It will and it does. Like I am not a perfect person. I am hopelessly flawed like we all are. And I was looking at something today and it was this person that's in the spiritual community. She's very well known.

She's written many books and she had this quote she posted. I was like, huh? And it said, if anybody makes your life complicated, walk away. And I thought, That could be used as a tool of oppression rather than liberation because I've had people come in and say things to me that made my life complicated and it was a huge learning and turning point for me because they're like, Em, you got to be careful with some of that stuff.

I'm going to take my time to share with you some things that I know because my perspective and experience is different than you and these people didn't have to do that. They didn't have to do that on my behalf and shared with me some of the things that were problematic about how I was showing up in certain spaces.

It's like you got, you, it's got to deconstruct as much as it builds us up. Does that make sense? And yeah, I think speaking of spiritual bypassing is, I just want to feel good. I just want to get out of this human body. I want to get out of this complicated mess. And I would say a spiritual practice should say, dive into that, go into that, figure it out.

Why are you doing that? Why are you feeling that way? But I see a lot of people using plant medicine now, which

[00:37:40] Nikki La Croce: I was just thinking that.

[00:37:42] Emily O'Neal: I know. Yeah, I'm like, good, great. I think there are ethical ways. Maybe certain people could go about doing that. But, the reality is, we got to live in the physical world and day to day life.

And you can have these amazing spiritual experiences. And I've had some, I've had them, but guess what? I had to come back down to earth. I had to live my day to day life, I had to show up for the hard stuff, even though I'd had this profound experience, so I think spiritual bypassing is wanting to always live in that yummy, luscious, I'm connected, all one space as a way to avoid it.

[00:38:17] both: Yeah, the

[00:38:18] Emily O'Neal: realities of living in the physical world. And there are some harsh realities, right? Look at what's happening in the world today. So we have to use our spiritual practices, I think, in it for making sure that we are for social justice, for liberation for all people. And what does that mean?

And ancient spiritual practices, which know about psychism and mediumship, by the way, all have a component of making sure that we are looking at taking care of others as much as just ourselves.

[00:38:51] Nikki La Croce: And I

[00:38:51] Emily O'Neal: think that's important.

[00:38:53] Nikki La Croce: For sure. And I really appreciate the way you explained that because It speaks a lot, I think, to people, particularly like the commoditization of spirituality that's happening right now, too.

I'm not going to sit here and act like I'm completely above it. I definitely buy into some things that I'm sure I could easily be like, that's not like you don't need to be thinking like that. or, maybe it's like I'm doing it more to feel good about something. Like I'm sure I'm doing my own spiritual bypassing at times.

Everybody does

[00:39:24] Emily O'Neal: it to some degree.

[00:39:25] Nikki La Croce: Yeah, but I think that there is this part of me that's you don't get to stop doing the work because you've decided you're like engaging in spiritual practice. there is still very much I think if you consider it as an alternative for the other things to your point that like you need to do to be a well functioning human to have a regulated nervous system.

Like I don't think it's in your best interest as a human being to just be on like various types of, plant medicine, drugs, whatever all the time. So you can keep connected because then it's it's avoidant, it's dependent. It's creating a very limited view of what like the actual picture is.

And I think as with most things, if sidestep it enough and you never confront it. Like you're going to end up being confronted with that in a much, much bigger way at some point. And it's I think for me in my own journey is like the balance of like, when do I feel like I'm more inclined to lean more into spirituality versus when do I feel like maybe I'm using it as a crutch because I want to feel safe.

[00:40:30] Emily O'Neal: Yeah. Fair enough. Like I think there's the, I think that we're all doing dancing between that often. And one of the things I would offer. towards that statement is this. When I have cultivated my practice, I call it quiet time. You can call it meditation, but I'm meditating. I'm in that passive and receptive state.

I'm not trying to make anything happen. I'm just trying to be with me and notice, acknowledge, and release what comes up. Cause that's a technique, right? Being able to be present for what is as it is in the moment and not be hyper reactive. Totally. Just that practice in and of itself has been bled into my day to day life.

So if you are having a quiet time practice or a meditation practice, you will be presented with thoughts, feelings, and things they'll come and go, right? And some of them will be pleasant and some of them won't. And so it attunes me to just notice, acknowledge, really release, not in a bypassing way.

It's just I'm not riding the mind train. I'm not writing. I'm not attaching to any one thing. And that big witnessing of what's happening in my awareness without from a place of neutral and non judgment has helped me in day to day life be able to witness my behaviors and witness what I'm doing and witness when I'm looking for safety or witnessing when I need to, when I want to hide from something that's occurring.

And rather than, Emily, 10 years ago would have been very critical of myself and the mistakes that I've made now, I have a lot more compassion for it. I'm like, Oh, you're doing that thing. Oh, emo. Emily is here doing that thing again. Okay. let's give her some love and then not be so critical about it.

and. It does cultivate this ability to be, observe you, observe how you're reacting and be like, why are you doing that? what you doing over there? Yeah. And be curious about your own self and your own behavior. We're all fascinating people, right? and we're going to, the person we're going to get to know, really get to know, there's only one us.

We can try to get to know our loved ones and the ones around us, but we can never walk in their shoes or truly know what's going on inside of them. We get that through ourselves. And the more, we can hold space for what's going on within ourselves, the greater capacity we have it to do it with other people.

So it really does start with, can I give this to me? And if I can do it for me, then I can probably show up for another person. And I always say to people, pay attention to how people talk about themselves and treat themselves. This is telling you a lot about how they're going to show up

[00:43:21] Nikki La Croce: for you. Ooh, that's interesting.

I like that. I, feel like, It really makes you think about what have I been like that people perceive, especially in the past, because I see the former versions of myself to your point. And you're like, same, you can still be confronted with that. It absolutely lingers. And I think that's one of the things that's really important for people to understand too, is that we evolve a lot.

And also, that doesn't mean that we aren't still either challenged or, confronted with certain parts of who we are that have either not been healed or for whatever reasons to linger. Because to the point of the conversation earlier around like being in a place of like deep trauma or, like a hypervigilance and your nervous system is dysregulated.

It's Yeah. Yeah. There are times where I don't know. I would like to believe that could all fade into the background and I don't really ever feel it. But the reality is, that like the experiences that I had in my life happened. And so shy of having a like eternal sunshine of the spotless mind moment where it all gets zapped away.

Like I, I don't think that there will ever be like zero feeling about these things that I've experienced.

[00:44:40] both: Yeah. Yeah.

[00:44:41] Nikki La Croce: And I think when you consider how you connect to yourself, like for me to be in a place of like peace and understanding and calm, to help myself work through those feelings is really valid.

And I do feel like cultivating a practice of meditation and gratitude, especially has been massively instrumental in getting myself to where I am now anyway. Plus the support of people, which is. Like the ultimate, I think, thing that we need as we're navigating through this life. So it's to be in touch with yourself, know yourself enough to be able to ask for what you need in the support that you have around you or find that support.

[00:45:20] Emily O'Neal: Absolutely. A hundred percent. I think we don't learn and grow and heal in the absence of others. We need each other to do that. We do. we can do a lot of things on our own. But we're not meant to do everything on our own. That was never the point. And I wanted to tell you about how we all have some trauma, right?

Everybody's been through stuff. And what I would say is for me, I, it through my spiritual growth and actually developing my mediumship. That came up for me, like all the stuff. I am a great emotional bypasser. I can put it in a package and file it away and suppress it like nobody's business. And I had a healing experience.

It's called trance healing. That's something that we learn, that I learned about and have had development in and I was receiving it. And so there's all kinds of mediumship. I don't know if you know that. There's like mental mediumship, physical mediumship, trance mediumship, and they're all different kinds of stuff.

states of awareness. But in trans mediumship, a medium will allow one of their spirit guides to completely blend with them. And through the medium, this spirit guide will give healing to the person that they're sitting with. And the way that I learned it, we didn't do any talking. There's no talking.

There's no nothing. The medium came in. This is a person I'm in community with, that we've done training and development and learning with, and I have a tremendous amount of respect for her. And she comes in and we sit for 20 minutes and she's are you ready? I was like, yeah. I guess so. I don't know if I believe in this, whatever, no harm.

so you were

[00:46:56] Nikki La Croce: skeptical going into this?

[00:46:57] Emily O'Neal: Hell yeah. And so her guide blend, even though I've had many miraculous experiences, that's my default state. Show me, prove it. I don't believe it. Like I. Totally. I'm like, I don't know about this stuff. always skeptical, but curious. Like we talk about, but she, I felt her guide come in, blend with her.

She looked different. I was like, something's happening. And then I just, and felt, fell into a calm state. I wasn't really meditating. I was honestly just sitting there and I felt energy touch me right on my chest. Just like this presence. I didn't feel like press. I felt like a hand go boop on my chest and it just unlocked all this fear.

and pain and anger I had stored in my body. It just opened it up and I just started weeping. It just all came out like it purged from my physical body. This sounds like terrible, but it wasn't. Made me realize how much I had stuffed down My emotions that I had deemed undesirable and how much that was inhibiting my ability to fall into deep connection with spirit.

And so it just opened up and poured through me. And then we closed out the session. And then for the next two weeks, I just canceled all my clients. I took that time I needed to do some. Deep self work around things that had happened to me that needed my love and that needed my attention. So my relationship to the parts of me that are a little complicated, angry and pain hurting changed.

Instead of saying, go away, I don't want to see you. I said, Okay, I'm going to make time for you. I'm going to be with you. I did have a therapist that helped, that I was working with at the time to help me with that. I needed it, frankly. So I was very blended with what was going on and she helped me.

hold space for that and taught me some techniques to help me be present for some of these things. And it was probably one of the biggest pivot turning points in my entire life. And now I have this ability to hold space not just for my complicated emotions, but for other people's complicated emotions and help them to heal.

And so I feel like that trans healing actually gave me a tremendous gift. And it makes me think of that Mary Oliver poem. I can't remember it exactly, but she's my friend gave me the box of darkness or something. And that too was a gift. Forgive me, Mary. But, I was like, Oh, wow. And so it's not just all pretty, love.

I feel connected. Sometimes it brings up things that are our shadow that live in our unconscious or subconscious. And by the way, talk about dreaming. The fact that you stop dreaming during that stressful time is really normal. that's what, happens because, I feel like our dreams are the place where we get to explore or things are expressed that we would never think about in our waking mind.

That's where the things can be like, Hey, run wild and show us different things. So I feel like dream work can be really, potent and powerful. And so I just wanted to also offer to having a period where the dreaming stopped, just it is, it's very interesting to me that it stopped during that time, but not surprising at all.

Yeah.

[00:50:18] Nikki La Croce: Yeah, I appreciate all of that. And I have so much gratitude for everything that you're sharing and particularly, really within your own experience articulating like, I don't come in with just this like belief that it's all, real, all valid, whatever, like you're, whatever.

wanting to understand so you can cultivate your own practice, decide what resonates with you and what doesn't. I feel like in my own experience and particularly, like Nicole's really good at what she does in terms of making it feel accessible, making it feel safe to me. she like, she's Just off the cuff came up with this like guided meditation the other day when we were sitting down and I was like, you're like, really good at this.

this is, I was like, I think this is how you felt when you heard me podcasting, maybe? I think that this is you have a gift that like, I didn't understand was here. And, I was just able to imbibe it and be witness to it in a way that it wasn't about, Oh, this is my partner and we're doing something together.

It was like, just be present in the moment. And she like took me on this, it, and it was pretty brief, but like this journey being like that really connected with me. And something that she always says is I really want people to feel like, take what resonates and leave what doesn't, because I'm not trying to tell you.

what to think or how to be. And she's very early on in, in what she's doing. She's been connected for a real long time, but she's also pushed it away. And now she's embracing it more again. And one of the things that I wanted to ask on her behalf, and for anybody listening, who might, be in a very similar position where like you feel connected, but you don't really know what to do with that.

and, You'd mentioned like there being value in finding community. So how did you actually end up finding community where you could cultivate with other people rather than having this isolated experience?

[00:52:12] Emily O'Neal: I knew I needed it, because there was a lot I didn't know. like I said, I didn't even know I was a medium.

I fell into accidentally in a session with a client. Like probably I didn't want that to happen and they're like, Oh, I'm pretty sure you're like connected to somebody who's not there. And I was like, I don't know how to do that. I'm psychic, but I can't do that. And they're like, so the person

[00:52:34] Nikki La Croce: you were with called you out on it.

[00:52:36] Emily O'Neal: Yeah. She was like, I think you're tapped in and connected to somebody cause you're giving me, it was a highly accurate information from a spirit communicator that they knew they were giving me all the information. And she's That feel, and I was describing a person and that's my so and that they're not on the planet anymore.

And I'm like, what? She's yeah, you're connected to someone on the other side. Luckily, she was excited about it. I'm like, I don't know how to do that. Also, she brought

[00:53:00] Nikki La Croce: it up to you. that's actually really cool that like she's, what a turning point moment for somebody to be like, I observed this.

[00:53:08] Emily O'Neal: Yeah. And, I have just been able to work with some of the most awesome people. I don't know how it happened. Maybe it's just the intention that I set for Blooming Wander, whatever the work that I do, but I've just gotten to work with amazing people. And I've always been very clear. where I'm at in the process.

And I was like, here's the skill set that I have. Here's the intention behind the work. Here's what I'll do. And mediumship was not on that list. not at all. I didn't walk around as a kid seeing dead people or sensing them. That wasn't me. I definitely had knowings. But, I wasn't like that. And when it happened, I was like, Oh, my God, I don't want this to be randomly happening to me in session.

I need to like, figure this out.

[00:53:48] Nikki La Croce: because I think it can be started. startling and like disarming in a way, it feels like.

[00:53:54] Emily O'Neal: I was truly shocked. I was like, what? I can tell you that in the moment I was so in the flow, I knew something felt different. And I was like, whoa, I'm just getting really good at being psychic.

Woohoo. And then they're like, nope, this is something else happening. And psychism and mediumship are two different modalities. I think that's another thing people don't know. is psychism is me and who I'm working with and I'm tapped into their energy and I get information that way. There's not a link to a spirit communicator.

Mediumship is me, the sitter, the spirit communicator. The spirit communicator gives me all the information, everything that I need. I'm not really, I'm connected to my sitter, but not the way I would be in a psychic session. So they're different. And I guess on some level, I must have known that because I drew the line in the sand and said, I am not a medium.

I remember telling people that because they always assume if you're psychic, you're a medium. I'd be like, yeah, I'm psychic. I'm not a medium. I can't do spirit communication well. I guess you do it enough years. I think, like I said, you can, your skillset can evolve and mine did. And so I didn't know where to go to get training.

I don't, I know that there's the Arthur Finley school of like psychical studies or whatever in England, but I can't fly to England and stay there for a couple of weeks, things like that. I'm like, where do people go? And I looked around in my community, but I have a really strong set of values, like in what I feel.

is important in spiritual practices. It's not a cut and dry thing, but I just knew the type of values that I was looking for and I couldn't find it anywhere. And you know what? I just said a prayer. I'm like, Hey, spirit, you're here. You brought me to this. Find my, help me find my community. And I did I found the Oakbridge Institute.

I didn't have never even heard of them. And it's run by medium Michael Mayo and Megan Alisa. And it was just such a grounded, practical, I went to a practice circle, did okay, and then went in and did more classes in development. It's just a great community of people. Everybody's at a different level in skill and ability.

You, we practice together, we play together, we cry together, we do all the things, but it gave me a safe place to learn and grow where I could fall down, do, not do things correctly. Yeah. And learn from those mistakes in a safe setting where we were all students practicing on each other. So nobody was expecting anybody to be perfect or anything like that.

So it was a really safe place. And, I think that they do an exceptional, the more I reflect on it, I've been studying with them for three years, and I'm just finishing up, where they've connected me with more public reading. So I can do. Starting in August, I'll be doing three public readings a week and then we reflect on those readings because their whole mission is to provide a high standard of care to elevate the level of care people can expect when they seek out services like this and I'm like, I'm on board with that because it's all over the place like you never, you might get a good medium like you did or you might it.

Not. I've seen some things and that I wish I hadn't in the industry. And it's I'm like, yeah, we need to raise the standard of care and we need to be able to demonstrate a high level of care to people because it is delicate work and we want to be helping people, not harming people.

And the, frankly, the industry. has done a lot of harm. And there, there's, harm being done. And so we can't necessarily stop people from doing things that we know are not appropriate. but we can say, Hey, here's another way.

[00:57:41] Nikki La Croce: Yeah. That's like the way, it is with most things I would say.

And I like that you refer to it as like the standard of care and referring to the care that you provide, because I feel like that's the other thing that really gives more of a sense of understanding and accessibility to acceptance of practices. Because I feel like that is what people are seeking, but we have such a sort of specific view of what it means to get care.

And so we have like Western medicine and then we have more holistic health, but then there's this other realm of I wouldn't necessarily put this in like holistic health, like medicinal or physical sort of holistic health. This is like a different level. It's a different type of care that's being provided.

And I think that. If we really consider what is it that, why do people desire this? It's because they are seeking help or guidance and, a sense of understanding. And to me, it's almost it's like the mental, physical, spiritual, emotional health. it's that's it. There's the combination of all the different things that you do.

And you had mentioned working with a therapist as well. yeah, I'm a huge advocate for therapy. It has done wonders for me. And it has opened me up a lot to be able to feel more connected and want to access spirituality. And I'm lucky that my therapist, is open minded as well because then I don't dialogue a ton about my spirituality with her, but she'll invite certain conversations in as well and like sort of pressure test with me to be like, is this something that you've considered too?

And I like that there's the opportunity to co mingle the things that I feel are helping me rather than feel like it has to be an isolated type of care that's being provided.

[00:59:32] Emily O'Neal: What's interesting to me is though, I am not a therapist. I'm not trained in that way. I did seek out training to become trauma informed and learn some things about the way the brain works and behavioral stuff.

I didn't have to do that, but I did because I wanted to be able to provide this high standard of care. I work with a lot of therapists. That's like a third of my business is therapists, which I think is so interesting that they come to me. I liked that a lot. I know, there's an overlap, and I think that there's definitely an overlap of the two kind of fields, which I'm very curious about, but, one of the things that I feel why that occurred is because What is therapy about?

Your awareness. What is this intuition about your awareness and where it goes and why it goes there and why am I doing those things. So it's all got, it's got similar under undertones to it. Obviously, I wouldn't diagnose or do anything like that. But, I can help people connect with, their intuition and understand more about their awareness and how to observe it and to be present for things, which is my favorite thing to do.

Most people that work as psychics and mediums do one and done sessions, which obviously with mediumship, I think that's appropriate. You connect with the spirit communicator, you give the message and people probably wouldn't want to move on after that. Psychism is a little different. You might be diving into some deep personal stuff and they might need support after that, either through a therapist or through.

I, help people with that, but it's my favorite thing to work with people over time so they get the sense of their intuitive sense and how it works for them. Just using the tools and techniques that I know. And, it's just I love doing that. Cause I wish I had that. I wish I had that at a much younger age and at a different time in my life, things could have been very different.

And I think for me, I probably nobody modeled these things, these skills and abilities. I never had, just wasn't really talked about all that much. And yet I was a child moving through the world, picking up all this information and knowing things before they happen. and not, and thinking everybody did it and then realizing, no, not everybody's doing that.

And then it made me feel alone. It made me feel like a weirdo. There was points in my life where I thought maybe I'm crazy, like what's going on. And that was scary. that was scary. And so that's why I'm like, Oh, community is so important. And finding the right community for you is, can be very, helpful.

[01:02:06] Nikki La Croce: Yeah. And I feel like I really connect to that sense of wishing that, they, certain things existed because it would have been really advantageous to have this on your personal evolution.

[01:02:23] Emily O'Neal: Yeah. And

[01:02:23] Nikki La Croce: I also think there's this really, valuable reality that like, because you learned it when you did how you did, you're showing up the way that you are.

And now you're offering that So there's a whole like, create the thing that you wish you had. And you're doing that. And I really admire that. And I also have a question. on a personal level about because of what you do and how you help people in this regard is so something that I don't necessarily understand or experience myself, I think I understand it more objectively, but I don't know how I would even begin to explore this for myself is the idea of connecting with spirit guides in some way.

And I know that, to your point, it's like, where are you on your journey? And like, how, open and receptive are you? Can you tell me a little bit about what it looks like to, start on that journey to connect with spirit guides?

[01:03:20] Emily O'Neal: Yeah. I always tell people when you begin this journey to just accept the experiences you have for what they are.

don't try to make them anything. that they aren't by putting a mental narrative over the experience. like a lot of people want to name their spirit guides or have them look a certain way. Oh, that's fine. But my approach is a little different. So when you're having your quiet time alone, and you're in that kind of soft state, and you know that you're feeling safe and secure, and you're meditation spot or whatever, maybe it's outside by a tree or doing whatever.

you just ask them to come close.

[01:04:08] both: I will.

[01:04:09] Emily O'Neal: and then, but I will say that it's subtle. It's very subtle, but like I talking about it now, so I can feel I have one that comes close and I, They have a signature essence. I know the way they feel. sometimes they have a color associated with them.

And this one has a lot of white energy associated with them. It does feel like a sturdy presence that usually comes up from me from behind. And I know when I feel that I know that I'm it. Connected, and I know that I'm in the flow and that what I feel is, so like I can feel it right now, a tremendous amount of support, a tremendous amount of love, and a tremendous amount of compassion for me.

And it's whatever you need right now. is available to you and I'm here for you. It makes me feel safe and secure. It makes me feel seen and I feel so, I feel like

a sense of familiarity with the energy, even though it's I can't see this entity or anything like that. It's not Gandalf, I'm not going to describe it as, Oh, it looks like this or that. Maybe it does. But for me, to me, the most important thing is, do I feel their essence with me?

[01:05:29] both: Am I familiar with

[01:05:30] Emily O'Neal: that?

And cultivating a familiarity with it. You probably have more than one guide, And they'll, and like I told you about the essence thing, when someone walks in the room, you're like, Oh, that they have that vibe. That's what they have. And you learn when you're in that passive state and the, your sphere of awareness becomes soft and broad, you'll feel something.

And you can say, come closer and they will come closer to you. And they can even blend with your body a little bit. And I know that sounds freaky and weird, but it's actually really not. It's pretty, pretty practical. and I usually, if clients ask me about that, I have an exercise that I do with them and usually there's a lot of emotion around it.

[01:06:13] Nikki La Croce: Yeah, I feel the thing that I felt challenged by or unsure of, and I'm glad that you explained it the way that you did is because I don't think like I'm a very visual person when it comes to things spiritually, like I don't get it doesn't appear to me. yeah. And I think more and more even just I, I have very strong visualizations when I have context for things, but I'm not great at like organically drumming up, like what a vision of something is without any awareness.

whereas my wife has like a super creative brain and she can just see things and I'm like. spiritually or otherwise, like she, she has like the ability to connect it with a visual, visualization. and so I was feeling like, I don't know if it's possible if I like, don't get this sort of like visual sensation of any kind, but it's to your point, it's more it's like the essence, it's the presence, it's the energy.

And for me, there is very much an energetic component, as you said, like with all of us, but I, always thought this was something that like, I, Until I met Nicole, I never told anybody about this because I was like, I feel like a weirdo. I feel like I'm like, I'm off the rails here maybe. But I, after losing my friend Mike when I was 16, there would be moments where I would be like laying in bed and I would like just put like my hands up in the air.

So I'm like laying on my back. My hands are like in the air up. And I could feel right, like I could feel the presence and I'm like this is like, but I was like, I'm making this up. this isn't a thing. what am I doing? But like over time, like I was realizing, no, there's like a very palpable energy.

Like it's not I'm not literally fabricating this, And so I've allowed myself to explore that more. Since we've known each other because I feel safe to do that. But this gets back to your point about like it can be very isolating because you're experiencing these things and you don't know how to cultivate it and you're not even really entirely sure if it's a thing.

So then like you're like, I'm just experiencing this in whatever limited capacity I allow given my knowledge on the information. Absolutely. Versus. I am open. I'm passive and receptive. And it's funny because when I was telling you about the medium experience that I had, where my friend Mike and my mom came through, she had made a comment that like, Mike was the one who like, made this happen with like you and Nicole, basically, because we had a very, obscure meet cute situation happened.

It was right after, shortly after losing my mom. And I would say Oh, like my mom brought us together. I really feel like we talked about work. I feel like my mom played a part and Mike's, since been, gone probably almost 20 years at that point. and like we'd had the conversation about Yeah.

And my mom actually was felt really close to Mike. And when I played soccer, when I was in high school, we won the state championship. My mom's I swear Mike was sitting on top of that goalpost, like the whole time that you were there. And I get Oh, I get like an intense feeling thinking about it.

And it's so it was so nice to have this sort of validated in I'm, you're connecting with these people, these spirits that I really care about. And I know that they had a connection. And so there was this feeling of I'm not totally delusional. Like the things that I'm feeling, the things that I'm sensing are, valid.

And I think the other thing in saying this out loud in this moment that I'm hearing it is don't feel like you have to dismiss it because you're worried what other people are going to think about it. find regulation in terms of like what, what feels viable in terms of your own reality.

Don't like escape into it entirely. But I think that there's it's a fearful response of what will people think if I tell them this thing that seems crazy? And it's but how many people are talking about it now? So it's it's not as unusual as we make it out to be.

It's more just that it's, in spoken about with, excuse me, with some sort of judgment, I think for a long time that we have to allow ourselves to understand that, it might not be received by all people, but that doesn't mean that it's not happening for you.

[01:10:23] Emily O'Neal: I swear I came up with the phrase, just accept it for what it is.

you know what that experience meant to you. You know what it felt like. You felt the connection. Accept it for what it is. It doesn't need to necessarily be understood by the mind. I know that's a weird thing for us, but a lot of this, especially with psychism and mediumship, our mind is going to want to step in and make it make sense.

And I think we have, there's that dance, okay, mind, I know you want to do this, but I know what that felt like for me. I like my trans healing thing. I know what that experience felt like for me. I'm not going to dismiss it. I've chosen not to dismiss it. It had such a profound impact on my life.

It was for me. And I share it with other people who, in case they've had experiences like that, but I also tell them, take it for what it is for you. Maybe it'll help you, maybe it won't. And one of the things I wanted to also loop back to is about the visualization thing. Some people are really visual. And how I've always approached it is, if I'm working psychically or mediumistically, for me, the visual has to be connected with the feeling or another clear sense.

Then I know it's not the mind. Because visuals can be from the mind. Now, I will also say that I love playing with visuals and using the imagination as a healing modality, using like visualizations and guided meditations, as I think, whether it's the mind or your imagination or not, people can go on journeys with that can be very helpful to them.

So I do think there's something to that, that can be very helpful, but I'm very careful about visuals when I'm working psychically or mediumistically, because it can just be a tape that my mind is like blooping stuff through. So I I see something, I feel something, and I say something, and I have to roll, roll with it.

and cause I will say one of the things I did learn in development and I would say all my friends and that we worked with that I've been working with would say the same thing. When we just go off visuals, we're wrong. It's usually not accurate. It's usually not. So we were, that was always like connect it to another clear sense and then you can be sure about the visual and I, it made me be scared of visuals for a while, but now I'm past that.

And one of the things that came up for me, a mentor was watching me work and they were like, you need to move faster. You need to work a lot faster. And I was like, but I need to make sure I'm, I was like going slow. And I realized I'm really clear cognizant. Like I just. get information. I just somehow know it.

There's no visual. And sometimes there's there is a feeling like you better spit this out and say it. That's the feeling that I get. And I was like, but a claircognizance is weird. Cause where'd that information come from? And how did I, I'm getting it from a spirit communicator or whatever, but it's a very weird kind of clear sense.

Cause you just get information, I'm like, whoa. Okay, but if I move fast and I say what comes, that's when I'm the most accurate. Oh, that's really interesting. And Oh, I need to really feel into this. I'm less accurate. But when I go, give what I get quick, I've realized that I'm more accurate.

So I've had to work on my confidence around that. saying I'm a loose, but I don't, cause I'm getting to the point now where I get really uncomfortable if I don't say these random things that come to me because it doesn't make any damn sense to me. Makes sense to my cerebellum. To me, I'm like, what the, what is this?

[01:14:00] Nikki La Croce: What? Yeah. Bye. What am I about to say? it's interesting that you say that too, because this is partially why I asked the question that Nicole had prompted around, how do you know to, trust yourself? Because I think she gets a lot of downloads where she's I don't know where that came from, but I just know it.

I know it. I just

[01:14:18] Emily O'Neal: know it. Yeah.

[01:14:20] Nikki La Croce: and so I'm like, And I think that for her, it's like really learning to trust that more. same thing for myself. It's just that we're at different stages of like where we are and how we connect. And I feel like the way

[01:14:31] Emily O'Neal: you guys connect is different. You're different.

You've got different, you've got different styles. And that's why I always tell people like, don't listen to people's stories and how it works for them. But yours will be different. Like it's different for everybody. And that's actually really freaking cool.

[01:14:48] Nikki La Croce: I like it because then it gives you more perspective, and I, it's, I remember when I walked into the medium, and it was within the first, probably a couple of minutes even of being there.

And she, like one of the first things she had said to me was like, You like really feel people's energies, like you do with it without even like a hesitation. And I thought that's so interesting because it's something that I've always really felt truly to myself to have it articulated to you by somebody.

And then I've had, I've spoken with other people who are mediums or psychics who have said the same thing to me. I'm like, okay, so there's something coming off of me that like, that gives this awareness to people. But it's. I think further validating to hear that from people who are in tune with their practice and can be witness that because I think it offers you space to explore it a little more rather than feel resistant to it.

[01:15:41] Emily O'Neal: it's a cool, it's something that's really cool about you. And I feel like it's a superpower for you. And that doesn't mean that it's always feeling like that. Like it can be hard to be that. in tune with people's energy. and, but it can also just be a really practical thing that you can use in your life, right?

With your podcasting, with everything. It's you know who you vibe with and who you don't, and you can trust that. And like I said, it's not passing judgment. It doesn't mean you have to be like, Oh, that person doesn't feel right for me. They must be quote, They just might be the right person for you to be talking to.

That's all, move on to the next thing. You don't have to, we don't have to make it like a grand judgment or anything like that. It can just be like, that's not for me on to the next thing. And just trust that and know that. And I think trust in yourself and in the way that your intuitive abilities move through.

through you is big. And that's something that has to be constantly cultivated and reevaluated. Believing that it's really happening is another thing. It's Oh, I do believe this. And I, because the truth is, It is an inherent part of every human being, and it isn't woo and we can all cultivate it.

Like I said, I wasn't born as a medium. I learned it.

[01:17:00] both: I

[01:17:00] Emily O'Neal: learned how to do this, so if I can do it, anybody can do it. So I think that's the thing, and I will point out two schools of thought around this. So there are people out there that will say, I'm gifted, I didn't have to get any training and development that makes me better at it than other people.

And then there's others that are like, I had it and I developed it and I got better at it or I had no skill and ability and I went from nothing to being able to do all these things. And so some people will lean towards oh, the people that were born this way or whatever are better. But I'm like, I don't know that one is necessarily better than the other.

But I will say that if I'm looking for a practitioner, whether they're like, I was just born this way, or I've developed it, I'm looking for, have you sought out intentional training and development? Because if you didn't, and you just had the skill and ability, There's a higher likelihood that you haven't had experiences where you aren't putting your biases on to people.

Does that make sense? Do you see what I mean? You've never worked with somebody bigger, better, faster, stronger, then how do you know you're not doing certain things, right? I'm always like That's an interesting

[01:18:14] Nikki La Croce: point to make about the bias, As well, because I feel like to your point, even just the comment you made earlier about being like, okay, like I'm a white female.

I'm privileged. Like I'm aware of my privilege. we all have inherent bias. So having to check some of those things at the door when it comes to anything in our lives, quite honestly, but Spiritually, I think that there's this, like you have to, it starts with the awareness and then it's the decision of okay, now that I'm aware of this, like, how does that impact my practice and how I'm moving forward in the way that I do this?

And I think if you don't ever, if you're never confronted with somebody sort of acknowledging that or acknowledging it to yourself, then you're going to just do what. what you feel, which is fine, but there might be limitations to that because of what you're not addressing.

[01:19:03] Emily O'Neal: Absolutely. And I will say that.

there's a fair amount of self work that has to happen pretty consistently for me to be able to strive to not have my biases enter into readings, but I am a human being and they will. That will happen and then I'll need to own it. it's going to happen. It will happen. It's just inevitable to some degree, but I'm always that my intention is to not let that happen.

But I also know that there's a possibility that it could and someone might call me out on that. I'm okay with that. I would want that. And I would give an example of how bias can show up. There was recently a pretty famous psychic medium who's on TikTok, who told a grieving woman who had lost her sister, that her sister was in a car accident.

purgatory and she needed to light a candle for her. no buddy, like that's not true. Like the spirit, when we all go to the same place in spirit and this is another, there's another trailhead that which is what happens to bad people, but we'll just stick on this note.

[01:20:12] Nikki La Croce: Oh, I'm guaranteeing you that this is not the only conversation we're having podcast or otherwise.

There is like what happens when we have to

[01:20:18] Emily O'Neal: deal with complicated people who've passed into spirit because not everybody's. Delightful, right?

[01:20:24] Nikki La Croce: I was, going to ask like how that comes through, but we'll, I'll put a pin in that and maybe we'll, we'll spend some more time together. Yeah.

We'll

[01:20:30] Emily O'Neal: have to loop back on that one. Cause that's a whole conversation too. But this idea of purgatory comes from a specific religious practice and the medium was then putting onto the sitter who may or may not even. believe in that, right? So there's an example of a bias coming into a reading and probably making the sitter feel pretty bad hearing your sister's trapped in purgatory and you need to light a candle to help her transition out of that.

[01:20:56] both: She gave a lot of

[01:20:57] Emily O'Neal: valid information, like your sister's here, duh, So it made it, But then it got mixed in with bias. Do you see what I mean? And that's where you have to be careful about who you're working

[01:21:08] Nikki La Croce: with. cause even to that point too, if you're somebody who practices this, but then also like you have, the context that you have is rooted in like the bias that you have, not even necessarily wittingly.

Cause I would also refer to probably like that in between. as purgatory. I was raised Catholic. That's what you would call it. So so it's the language as you're saying too. It's even if it's not like an obvious bias that is like very clear, it's like the language that you're using needs to also be intentional in how you're communicating things so that somebody can receive it, in the most beneficial way possible.

[01:21:45] Emily O'Neal: Absolutely. A hundred percent. And a lot of the, work that I've done has been around the language that I use to describe what's coming through to me in a way that is helpful to the person that I'm working with, if that makes sense and free of kind of some of these biases. And that's trick, that's a skill, that's a skill in and of itself.

that is really important to, to cultivate. And that's something that I'm constantly evaluating and we're in working on and that's why in development they, when we have our sitters permission, they always ask us to record this, the sessions and watch them watch ourselves back because you want to learn how do I say things?

Is there a better way that I could say that? Because sometimes when we're working, we don't remember. that's the thing. It's I'm so tapped in. I'm spewing information, but I'm gone. Emily's off to the side. I don't always remember everything that came up at a session and I'll come out of it.

And people will be like, Oh my God, you said all this stuff. It was so accurate. I'm like, I don't really remember all of that.

[01:22:52] Nikki La Croce: Yeah. that's intense. And I, I, cause I was going to ask you if, you allow people to record or if you ever record. So we recorded like audio of my session video, but, it was for me.

So like I could go back and listen and revisit and come back to that if anything came up, because there were a couple of things that I was like, I don't have context for that yet, but maybe. And it's, it is interesting to think about how, Something I wouldn't have considered is like the language that you're using to communicate, but it's as with, again, I'm going to compare it to therapy in the sense of, there are certain ways that you want to say things or not say things because it's going to give somebody space to experience it for themselves versus dictating to them, like what it is that they're getting from you.

Exactly.

[01:23:38] Emily O'Neal: Like I, yeah, that's the thing. That's exactly. That's a perfect way of saying that.

[01:23:45] Nikki La Croce: I, Emily, I feel like I could talk to you for ages. I know that we're at the tail end of things here. I would like, I would just, bog down the rest of your afternoon to go into these really insightful conversations.

I appreciate so much how open you are, how much you've shared, and just the intent behind what you're doing to help people within your practice, but to come on to a show like this or into other podcasts and to offer, your experience and your knowledge and give people a better understanding of what's possible for each of us with connecting to ourselves in this way.

Like it's so meaningful to me. I feel like this conversation has come at such the perfect time in my own life to be so receptive to it, to be inspired by it and to just really feel empowered to give myself more opportunities to follow those nudges that I'm getting and trust myself a little bit more and cultivate that myself.

I just really appreciate you being here and for all that you do and all that you are.

[01:24:55] Emily O'Neal: Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. And I can say the same about you for just creating an environment where it's easy for me. For me to, talk about some of these ideas and things like that's an that's important too.

It allows me to show up in an authentic way. And I appreciate that. And I value that.

[01:25:16] Nikki La Croce: Thank you so much. I, can't wait to chat with you again, but in the meantime, I know that, if anybody wants to reach out and find out more about what you're doing, they can visit bloomingwand. com and I'll have that in the show notes, but is there anywhere else you want them to follow or find you?

[01:25:32] Emily O'Neal: That's pretty much, it. I do have the podcast. that I do as well, but everything's right there on the website. And there are lots of free tools for people as well in the Blooming One store. And then I have a little free members area, that has a course that people can take. It's short about psychism, mediumship and tarot.

So part of raising the standard of care for me is education and providing tools and things that people can use for free with no paywall. So they can try some things out and experiment on their own.

[01:26:03] Nikki La Croce: Oh, I love that so much. And I that's so generous and thoughtful and meaningful. I think for people who, especially if you're feeling skeptical and you're like, I don't necessarily want to invest, but I want to investigate.

[01:26:15] Emily O'Neal: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Cause like we're all there. And I just, I don't know. I don't think everything needs to be behind a paywall.

[01:26:24] Nikki La Croce: Yeah. I, feel you on that. And I like, I just really one last time want to say thank you.