How Music Helps Us Heal with Aliza Hava

[00:00:00] Nikki La Croce: Can I Just Say is more than just a segue into a conversation, or the name of this podcast. It's an invitation for guests and you to say the thing that doesn't often get airtime. To bring to light the stories that are important, the moments that shape us, and the experiences that help us grow and ultimately define who we are.

It's important for us to give space to these conversations because life can be messy and downright brutal sometimes. But even at our lowest points, there's always a glimmer of hope. This space is about sharing how we keep going, how we pick up the pieces and rebuild, and how we create connections in the process.

So let's laugh, cry, and find strength in our shared experiences. Because vulnerability is how we develop those meaningful connections. and understand that we are never alone. Hey gang, on this week's episode of Can I Just Say, I'm sharing the mic with Aliza Hava. Aliza is a singer, songwriter, and activist whose story is really quite incredible.

Growing up in an abusive household, Aliza knew throughout her life that she had a deep desire to help herself heal and move forward in her life in a way that created an impact for other people as well. Throughout our conversation, there was so much vulnerability and really meaningful dialogue about what it looks like to heal and the various complexities that go along with it.

This is a conversation that was quite enlightening and I'm sure if this is something that resonates with you, that you will walk away feeling empowered to navigate your own healing journey with a bit more self compassion. So let's dive in. As somebody who is a creative, an artist, a musician and singer, you have not only a platform, but you also really have a message.

And what I really loved about what Dan shared with me, in terms of connecting us was, the way that he spoke about your mission and your desire to help people through your music. And I know that a lot of people sort of say that and it's not that they don't intend to help people with their music, but they also aren't coming at it necessarily from the same angle.

So when you think about how you got started, like how did you go from your initial interest in music, uh, becoming a musician and a singer? Thank you. to translating that into something that is more focused around activism and humanity at large.

[00:02:31] Aliza Hava: That's really the question of my life and the story of my life, to be honest, because for me, music and songwriting and making a difference, it kind of always went hand in hand.

Um, so when I was very little, I used to be in like school choir and, plays, you know musicals, but that wasn't my own music, you know, that was like being part of like a group performance, um, I started writing my first songs when I was nine years old.

[00:03:00] Nikki La Croce: Wow.

[00:03:00] Aliza Hava: And it was in response to I'm feeling very isolated and alone and having a lot of, um, time on my hands, kind of locked in my room, so to speak.

Um, and literally locked in my room as well. Um, I grew up in a very violent household. And so there was always a lot of, um, fighting and screaming and, um, yeah, it was really difficult. And I loved music and I guess I had this natural inclination to write. And so when I was nine, I started writing, you know, about running away.

I wanted to run away from home and I kind of envisioned myself like running away. And then I realized like, Oh my God, living on the streets alone is kind of scary because you're not protected. I'm scared. You know, and then I started thinking about all these other kids, the runaway kids and what happens to them, you know?

And I don't know how I had this awareness when I was nine. I think, you know, we underestimate

[00:04:03] Nikki La Croce: the Well, I was just gonna say, I was gonna say I think though it's it's interesting to hear that because it tells a lot about the depth of your soul, I think, to be able to have that type of awareness and empathy at such a young age.

Like, I remember the song, um, by Soul Asylum, Runaway Train, that came out and like the whole video was clips of missing children, missing teens and things like that. And to, I mean, I was pretty young at the time when that song came out. And I mean, I remember even like my mom's visceral reaction, I think, as a parent being witness to that.

But then that this song is playing and, you know, kids are listening to it, it's building that awareness. And I mean, speaking of songs that are like very relevant and kind of force you into a mindset of recognition of things, I think that's a great example. So I kind of wonder if I was probably roughly around that age when it started to become a bit of a heightened awareness myself.

[00:04:57] Aliza Hava: Yeah, and it's interesting, right? Because that song and that video brought your awareness to that issue in a different way.

[00:05:04] Nikki La Croce: Yeah, and totally like I mean, why would I ever have thought about it at that age? You know,

[00:05:10] Aliza Hava: yeah, and at the same time like those people or probably your age to like the people in the video, right?

[00:05:17] Nikki La Croce: I think that's what makes it gut wrenching.

[00:05:19] Aliza Hava: Yeah, I got the chills when you brought up the video because I remember that that video too and yeah, when I was 15, which is you know, kind of um, I think that song came out like in the 90s or something. Um, yeah, when I was 15, I started playing the guitar. And, um, I started teaching myself how to play the guitar by listening to other recordings and songs.

And, um, I, I was gravitating towards music that had something to say. something meaningful, something deep, something spiritual. I also had listened to like all kinds of music growing up. So I had exposure to everything from like the folk music of like Simon and Garfunkel to like Paula Abdul and, you know, Madonna, like, so there was like this whole wide spectrum of, um, and, you know, rock and roll and hip hop.

And, you know, I was, I was taking it all in. But I was very inclined towards the, um, the guitar, acoustic guitar, playing like folk music, singer, singer songwriter vibes. And um, I found this book called Great Songs of the Sixties and I started, and it was just, you know, all sheet music, but it had chord charts.

So I had a little book that had chord charts in it, so I was able to follow along. And um, I just started learning all these protest songs. As I was teaching myself how to play the guitar and I loved it. I loved it. I loved that. Like it was saying something meaningful and also, you know, like, it's interesting because I didn't learn this until much, much later, but when you grow up, when you, when you grow up in a household where there's a lot of physical and psychological violence, it's kind of like being a, um, a child.

And they say, and again, I learned this later in life, that the trauma from growing up in that kind of environment is very similar to the trauma of like a war veteran or a child soldier. And, um, in many ways, I, I felt like I was growing up in a war zone. I think I related to those songs because I felt like I was in the middle of a war, you know.

But it was like, not a war of like, people I didn't know. It was like, people who like, brought me into the world, you know. Which was even, you know. you know, crazy.

[00:07:37] Nikki La Croce: Well, I think that's an incredible observation to make too, especially in hindsight and just sort of knowing like who you are as a person develops so much from that.

And, um, I was very lucky that I grew up in what I would say by most standards is like a healthy household. Like there was, was kind of standard boomer parenting techniques that maybe could have been better. But, um, I think that, you know, the thing that I really relate to in what you were saying was that.

sense of connection to the type of music that really resonated with you. Like my mom grew up, um, she was born in 49. And so she sort of like lived through the whole hippie era. And she was a woman who, you know, went to school and, and wanted to get into the working world rather than, um, kind of being the, the wife to somebody necessarily.

And, I mention this because she actually ended up working in radio for a long time. And so she had like all these really incredible experiences before I was around, like in Manhattan in the seventies, like at the Fillmore East and all this stuff that like, it can't even fathom. She had tickets to Woodstock and couldn't go because of the traffic.

Like she couldn't get there, which is a shame, but I joke around. I used to joke around with her, um, that like, maybe it was the universe making sure that like, I could be here. Like, if you had gone to Woodstock. You're like, what a completely changed. And like, we might not be here now, but, um, she really loved the music from the sixties.

And that's something that just hits so close to home for me. I, so I had, um, listened to the cover of what the world needs now that you did. And that was a song that when, um, The Forrest Gump soundtrack came out and it was like two or three cassette tapes. It was an aggressive amount. And, and that was a song in there that like, I just couldn't stop listening to.

And it resonated so deeply with me. And so like, Imagining you as a child kind of going through this journey yourself and being witness to that really brings up for me this sense of familiarity with like, I was really young when I heard those songs for the first time, but I could tell that there was something really gravitational about it in the way that I was being pulled towards it and sensing the message behind it.

[00:09:47] Aliza Hava: That was probably like one of the most powerful transformative eras. in our recent history. I mean, coming out of Vietnam, the Vietnam War, part of the Vietnam War generation, but also right, like post World War Two. So it's like war after war, you know, it wasn't too far apart, if you think about it.

[00:10:09] Nikki La Croce: And I think it gives a lot of context for the music that you're doing now, given the state of the world feeling really reflective of that.

[00:10:15] Aliza Hava: Yeah, and it hits home on a very personal level for me. Um, the current state of the world and the war. I mean, I am, I have family roots in both Ukraine and also Israel. And, um, I have family buried in both places, ancestors buried in both places. And, um, I lived in Jerusalem for almost 10 years. It was about eight years, um, that I was traveling back and forth.

I was a UN representative for a, uh, several peace organizations. So I worked with, um, a lot of Palestinian Israeli peace groups promoting, um, interfaith dialogue and peace through music. So it's, um, it's very personal for me right now, what's going on, even though I'm not there, like a lot of my friends and family are.

It's interesting because I, I have, I have this, um, body of work that I'm going to start releasing. later this year, and it's, it's all about my healing process coming out of this violent household, which is something that I never planned to write about because it's something I just wanted to kind of leave behind me, you know?

Um, but you know, when talking about war and trauma and all of these things, what you realize is like, you can never leave it behind. Whatever happens to you in your life, and especially in your formative years, and, and in like specific, like very highly traumatic situations, that is going to stay with you throughout your entire life.

And the only way that you can, um, personally, what I've found is that the only way that you can kind of like, live a healthy, happy life. Having gone through those things is to just do a lot of really deep inner work and be introspective and reflective. And, and getting back to the music, I actually went to school for music therapy.

I didn't realize it at the time that I was a teenager writing these songs, but I knew you know, playing the guitar and writing songs was healing me. It was like the one thing that I had that was like mine. Nobody could take it away from me.

[00:12:27] Nikki La Croce: Yeah.

[00:12:28] Aliza Hava: And I didn't really have a lot of encouragement or support from my family in that way.

Um, but it was like the people outside of me who kept saying to me, you need to do this, like, keep going with this. This is like, you have a gift, you should do this. And then, um, I found myself applying to college and discovering that they had a music therapy program. I was like, well, what is that? I never even heard of music therapy.

At that point, I ended up majoring in it, just doing a deep dive on like the power of music to heal. At the same time, I was also discovering that I had this bone for like organizing, uh, events to promote different causes. And like, it was like in me to do that. It was very natural, very natural inclination.

So yeah, it's all, it's all kind of wrapped together as like this, this. Um, inclination to write songs that are healing then and also to like create events that bring people together to like create, um, a transformative experience, whether that's like an intercultural experience or, um, you know, just sharing stories, which can also be very healing and transformative for, for the audience.

So yeah, it's all kind of wrapped up into my nature, I guess, as an artist.

[00:13:43] Nikki La Croce: Yeah. So I'm curious, Aliza, from, you mentioned having the experience with the UN and, um, how you've done. a variety of events. And I know I read a little bit about that on your website as well. Could you share a little bit about how that opportunity even came to be?

And like, what ultimately, how do you feel you grew from that opportunity?

[00:14:05] Aliza Hava: Yeah, absolutely. Well, it's a, um, it's a very, um, you know, it's definitely not like a straight, straight shooting line. It was definitely like a curvy road. Um, I went to college in upstate New York, as I mentioned, I was studying music and also, um, music composition.

And I became very good friends with a woman named Julia Walsh. She's like this badass activist who doesn't take no for an answer. She makes shit happen. We met like right when I was graduating and she was, um, She was kind of coming in as like a sophomore or junior, and we had been living in the same apartment complex.

She had told me that she was gonna leave the school because she felt like she couldn't study the things she wanted to study. They didn't have a major that like encompassed. She wanted to do like foreign relations or something international, um, where she can make a difference. And I said, well, why don't you just go and design your own major?

She's like, Oh, I can do that. And I was like, I think, yeah, you just go to the guy and tell him you want to design your own major and make it happen. So she did, and she stayed in this school and maybe, I don't remember exactly how much longer after that. Um, she, she and I were walking down the street, uh, to like, kind of like the main area of the, of the, it's a college town, you know, so there was like off, off campus housing and, you know, on campus housing and then there's this cool little main street area where everybody kind of went to the cafes and the bars.

Can I ask where you went? Yeah, New Paltz, SUNY New Paltz in upstate New York. The first time I ever went there, I was like a little kid and I remember driving down into like the valley, looking up at the mountain and having this weird feeling of familiarity. I was like, little, I was like, why does this feel so familiar and like deja vu y.

And then I ended up going to school there and living there for 10 years. It completely changed my life, um, in a great way. It put me on my path. Um, but she, she was describing to me how there was this, um, development company that was coming to basically like tear down the woods and the wetlands. They were going to put up this big senior housing development that, would only be affordable for people from out of town.

So she starts telling me how she's hatching this plan to take over the local government to stop this development. And she's like, all we got to do is get a majority of the board and then we can, we can block it. And then we could change the laws. We could protect the woods and the wetlands. And I was like, okay.

She's like, I just need two people to work with who can do it. And I happened to know these other, People who, and I mentioned to her, Oh, there's this guy, you know, I can introduce you to. And at that very moment, same guy walks out of the cafe right in front of us and crosses our path. At that exact moment that I said his name, it was like.

Weird. Anyway, I'll fast forward. The universe is

[00:17:05] Nikki La Croce: aligning it all for you. Very

[00:17:07] Aliza Hava: much aligning. Um, anyway, long story short, fast forward two months, they won. They won by a majority of the board. They made, well, I should say we, because I was on the team, um, made international news. It was the youngest mayor to ever be elected in New York State, or on the, on the East Coast, 26 year old mayor, Jason West.

Um, not long after that, Jason went on to marry like 26 same sex couples. on the steps of the Village Hall in New Paltz. This was a long time. This was in 2003, 2004, actually. Um, and again, like, made international news and started the whole wave of, like, mayors protesting the Bush's constitutional, uh, ploy to make same sex marriage illegal, unconstitutional.

Anyway, so, We were in the news. It was a big deal. And then she, um, Julia ended up going and starting to work at the United Nations and, and working on the Young General Assembly. She became a, uh, uh, member of the Young General Assembly at the UN. And shortly after that, she started inviting me to come and work with her at the UN doing projects and specifically producing a, a peace concert.

We produced a peace concert. On, um, the Holocaust Day of Remembrance, actually, on the Dag Hammarskjöld Plaza, right outside the UN headquarters. And that was the first time I produced anything at the UN. I mean, I co produced, obviously, we all worked together. Um, but that started a whole series of events where I started getting invited to Um, to, to be there, to help orchestrate events, to sing there.

And in 2005, I was invited to, um, sing one of my songs at the International Day of Peace. in the General Assembly Hall to like hundreds of students from all over the Northeast and all of the messengers of peace were there, Elie Wiesel, Michael Douglas, Jane Goodall. I got to meet them and, um, yeah, and that was how I got connected to the UN and whatever energy I was bringing, you know, people were seeing it and they were like, would you like to be involved with this?

Do you want to be involved with this? Can we involve you in this? Would you like to sing it? And these kinds of things just kept happening to me. And, um, I eventually became like an ambassador for the international day of peace through, um, through two different organizations. One was called pathways to peace and the other was called the world peace prayer society.

And, um, and then because I had a relationship with Israel and I was going back and forth. I was given the, um, title, role, fancy, whatever, a very fancy title as the Middle East Regional Coordinator for the United Nations Culture of Peace Initiative. And I was also an alternate UN representative for the World Peace Prayer Society.

So I worked mainly as a volunteer, I never got paid to do any of this work. Um, a lot of it was really my own, my own, um, desire to make a difference. And I would, um, have to raise my own money to do the work. It was life changing. It was life affirming. It wasn't easy. I mean, I saw a lot of things that were hard to accept.

while I was doing that work, but I also met some of the most incredible people. And I'm also still connected with many of those people over a decade later.

[00:20:53] Nikki La Croce: That's beautiful. Thanks. Well, I appreciate you sharing that. I just, I have so much belief in the potential of humanity, and I feel like it's being squandered.

And I'm sure that like, based on what you've seen and experienced, you can wholeheartedly relate to that probably even more so than I could possibly think that I know. When I think about the work that you're doing, Um, with your music, it's really incredible to witness your desire to expand how you express yourself through your art to other people in the nature of doing events, but also then to see that in such a big way and at such a scale.

I had seen that you had done, um, you know, some of these events and particularly, um, the like peace concert and this idea of like bringing together people around music. And, you know, It's something that I feel like a lot of us know um, inherently is that music brings people together because you could be like at a concert with people who have maybe nothing else in common with you other than the type of music that you like and listen to.

But the foundation of the music is Is showing you in some way, I think that there's more than just like the sound of the music that you have in common, especially when it's coming from a place of the lyrics mean something to me, the art means something to me. Do you feel like when you started getting into music that it was clear to you that you wanted to leverage, um, Your art to create more of a message for other people, or was it really coming more, as you said, from a place of just self expression and working through your own healing?

[00:22:34] Aliza Hava: Well, I think it was definitely both. You know, one of the first songs that I wrote when I was 16 was called Today, and it, the whole thing about changing the world. Believe, accept what it is, I can't change the world, but I can learn to live without making it harder for myself. If I can find a way to change, I'll start today.

And then you can't change the world, but you can learn to live without making it harder for yourself. If you can find a way to change, start today. But then, yeah, then it goes to we, we can change the world. We, I, you can't, but we can, and that was the premise of that song, which I've never recorded actually.

Oh, I love that. Should probably maybe finish that when I was just going to say, is

[00:23:19] Nikki La Croce: it somewhere? Can I listen to it? I feel like now

[00:23:22] Aliza Hava: is the time. Let me make a note of that. Uh, record that song I wrote when I was 16 that I never really finished. It's kind of finished. It's like, I'm just like my own worst critic.

I always like, well, I think

[00:23:37] Nikki La Croce: the message is timeless, right?

[00:23:39] Aliza Hava: Yeah, it's absolutely timeless.

[00:23:41] Nikki La Croce: I'm curious when it comes to your new album. Obviously, there's, as you mentioned, a lot going on in the world and it is a lot to process. I, when you did the interview with Dan Clouser on Journey of a Mother's Son, You had mentioned, you know, the importance of this album, not just in terms of your healing, um, when it comes to sort of like the therapeutic aspect of it, but the way that, uh, spirituality also factors into that and your music and your healing overall.

And that really spoke to me a bit because I've gone on my own journey. healing journey and and spirituality has started to play such a much bigger factor in it in the last few years. Do you feel like when you're creating music and in particular with this album, I guess, that it's sort of a a combination of that desire to share your message coupled with like a more, I guess, like divine connection for lack of better term without sounding too woo woo about it, but like genuinely I feel like there's something to be said about like the vibration of music and the way that we actually feel it.

[00:24:53] Aliza Hava: Yeah, absolutely. Um, thank you for asking that question. I definitely feel like my life and the gifts that I have as a songwriter and as a singer and learning how to play the guitar and piano and all these things. I definitely feel like there's, there's a divine gift in that. Um, and I feel like also maybe the reason this is also like a cope, a way of like coping with like, why did I go through all of this shit?

You know, why did God put me through this? No, I feel you

[00:25:25] Nikki La Croce: on that one. Yeah. I

[00:25:26] Aliza Hava: was like, why? You know, and it's, it's like, and why did God give me the strength to get, get through it? And now what am I supposed to do with that? Right?

[00:25:34] Nikki La Croce: Yeah,

[00:25:34] Aliza Hava: that is how I look at life. And when I say God, I really mean like the universal principle of love and kindness in the world, which I believe saved my life on many different occasions and led me into situations where I could grow and heal spirit also put me through hell, you know, like I, I, I don't fully understand how this all works, you know, how the spirit universe God, how this whole, you know, life on earth situation is supposed to play out and everything.

Um, but I know that, you know, again, like, I would not be here right now if there wasn't a higher power. When I was little and all this nightmare was going on around me, I had this sense of something protecting me and I couldn't quite put a voice to it or a word to it, but there was like, there was like this voice inside of me, even that was saying like, you're going to get through this.

Don't give up. Okay. And I just had like this intuitive sense that I was going to get out of there and I was going to heal and grow and be happy. I had this sense, you're going to get out of here, you're going to be free and you're going to find happiness. And that was this like little voice inside of me, which, you know, when I look back at it, I feel like that's the voice of God within.

That's the voice of spirit and higher self, the soul at that age, I couldn't know that, but now after I've had like many experiences with, you know, meditation and spiritual teachings and, you know, the kind of spiritual awakening that I had when I was 18, where I felt like the all encompassing presence of God's love.

unexplainable. I can't even put words to, I can try and explain it, you know, but I felt it so strongly that like, it completely altered my life. Just looking back, I can say that I know that I was guided, protected and led out of the nightmare that I grew up in, even though, you know, many times I went back thinking, okay, I'm healing.

And maybe if I'm loving and kind to my family. You know, I can heal them, I can heal this, blah, blah, blah. That was a huge mistake, by the way.

[00:28:06] Nikki La Croce: I think it's a commonly made one, right? I think there's a couple, a couple of reasons. In my experience, I'll say, uh, cause I had a savior complex with my ex, who's a covert narcissist.

And it was like that when you're in an abusive situation, particularly psychologically, I mean, anything, I think that's physically abusive. Abusive in some ways, likely psychologically abusive, but being in a situation where it was like, I'm doing more, I'm healing more, I'm changing more, like, I can help you because I understand better.

And maybe if I understand better than you can be open to it, but what you experienced and, and I think what a lot of us do is that. When that transformation happens, yes, it has to be decided by you and ultimately, um, you know, actioned on by you, but it's guided by this deeper feeling of like, I need something to change for me.

Um, and maybe we don't know how that nudge happens. And I, I, in my experience, at least in with people I know who have been in abusive situations as well and toxic situations is like you push and pull for a while, but at some point it's in your best interest to say, Hey, If I really want to heal, then I have to alleviate myself of the strain of these relationships.

And unfortunately, when that is family, um, that is a much more challenging situation to release.

[00:29:22] Aliza Hava: Yeah, it absolutely is. I, I had to go all the way to the end. All the way to the end, um, of the rope of trying so hard to have a relationship with my parents, um, that it almost, it almost broke me. And, uh, that's when I was like, I'm done.

I'm done. And ever since I cut off every single one of my family members, I've been a much healthier and happier person. Except for my, my one elder sister who I have a sort of a. You know, just not a very communicative relationship, but we at least like, like each other's Instagram posts. That's pretty much the extent of it.

[00:30:10] Nikki La Croce: Yeah. I was, I was going to ask if you had siblings and I think that that's, I imagine it's very difficult to, to go through that, um, and have to release the connection with family members. And then, you know, what connection you do have is still not necessarily I mean, I think when we feel We consider family, like you want that bond, like it's a desired closeness because that's where we came from and as I'm getting older, I realized more and more that the chosen family is really where it's at and, um, you know, I love my family very much, but there are people in my life that know me much better, um, respect me in different ways and see me in different ways that my family never could.

And it's important for us to acknowledge that whether we're leaving a very bad situation or we're still in touch with our family, that trying to source sort of the things that we need and the connections in our life. from our family isn't always the best thing for us. And, um, you know, it sounds like through the work that you've done on yourself, uh, that while it might've been, uh, a challenging path to go down, I am, I would presume that there was a lot of growth that was happening as you were kind of getting to the end of the rope, as you said.

[00:31:31] Aliza Hava: Yeah. And the truth is I, um, You know, it's still hard to even think about

[00:31:37] Nikki La Croce: it and talk about it. Please know that, like, you don't have to share anything that you don't want to, um, so if you're like, I'm not going there, you can shut it down.

[00:31:43] Aliza Hava: No, it's totally cool. I, I'm, I'm actually, you know, just the fact that I started writing about my healing process.

Through the music that was huge for me because you know in the past all the songs that I were was writing was more about like, you know relationships Social issues, you know love songs, blah blah blah. Yeah, you know this record It's called into the light and part of the reason it's called into the light is because it's about taking that shit out of the darkness out of the out of the shadowy painful past You and bringing it to the light in order to heal it.

And there's a lot that goes into that process, and it doesn't always happen quickly. It can happen over decades, which has been definitely my journey. Um, however, I realized at a certain point, You know, after, well, after my father died in 2020, this was, this is the end of the rope story. And I know you said, you know, you like people share your things.

Now the end of the rope story is that my mother assaulted me in the hospital while my father was dying and it was the most horrible thing anybody could ever do to their child. She basically like attacked me over his Dying body because I was trying to say goodbye to him, you know, it's it's hard It's horrifying and I don't like to think about it But it was that moment that I realized that I had spent just way too much time trying to be good to them You know,

[00:33:25] Nikki La Croce: yeah

[00:33:26] Aliza Hava: Six months later, I was like picking up the pieces of my, you know, the, the, the pain from that experience.

And I was, um, getting back on my feet. I was getting ready to record a rec, record an album and, you know, sign a management deal. And I was like, but I was still hurting, you know, I was just like coping. I thought I was doing better, but I looking back, I don't think I really was. I think I was just holding on and trying to move forward.

[00:33:53] Nikki La Croce: Sorry, can I just pause for a second? That's a really interesting point that you just made. Feeling like you're moving forward, but like you're still holding on to it. And like, that's a little bit of a coping mechanism. I've experienced that myself. I'm curious if you felt this way. I've learned to speak objectively about my experience, um, to be able to share certain things and navigate it.

But it's been like a whole different journey giving myself space to feel it because once you actually release it, it brings forth a completely new level of like what it means to feel through that. Has that been your experience as well?

[00:34:29] Aliza Hava: You know, it's hard to, it's hard to put words to the experience of like when you've, when you've gone through really heavy things and You don't always have, like, a support system to, like, navigate that.

You kind of just have to suck it up and move on. Maybe self soothe, self care, cry as much as you can. But it doesn't take that away. The experience that happened doesn't go away.

[00:34:59] Nikki La Croce: Yeah.

[00:34:59] Aliza Hava: You know? And if it's a physical trauma, like a rape or, uh, being brutally beaten, which, you know, happens to women. all the time, those things stay in your body, you know, um, stay in your cells.

So unless you're able to like move that energy out of your cells through some somatic healing practices, which, you know, only in the last, I think 20 years, maybe 10 years, have people really started to get a grip on what that means. You know, that stuff stays stuck inside of

[00:35:34] Nikki La Croce: you.

[00:35:35] Aliza Hava: And sometimes it's something that you can, uh, release emotionally through crying, screaming, you know, Rage release, my friend hosts this rage release workshop, which is actually pretty powerful.

But, you know, I think these are, these are tools that not everybody has, you know, and you have to be able to make the time to do that. If you're raising children, I, I don't have children. You know, luckily I have the space or I had the space to, um, Do a deep dive on my healing process. And that's what I was about to share with you is like, I, I got injured by a chiropractor who gave me herniated discs in my neck and the whole left side of my body went numb.

And I couldn't hold my arm. This was six months after, after this incident that I had told you about when I was just getting back to life. And, um, it just knocked me on my ass. It just completely knocked me on my ass. And I was like unable to do anything for like almost nine months. And all I could do was heal.

Heal physically, heal emotionally, because I went offline, basically stopped communicating with everyone except, you know, the people who were, who were working with me on my, on my physical therapy and things like that, my doctors and, and I also went to see this incredible craniosacral therapist who helped me move a lot of trauma out of my body.

Um, that was a profound time for me, which would not have happened. Had I not had the injury. So I was forced by injury to basically do all this inner work for like nine months. And that's how I ended up, um, writing this record. That's coming out because I was able to do that work and Put words to things that in the past I hadn't had capacity to do and also find the strength and the courage to say, okay This is this is my story, you know that I never wanted anybody to know about because it was too embarrassing First of all,

[00:37:42] Nikki La Croce: what I think is worth noting is the fact that you had this injury occur, and you saw that as an opportunity to prioritize your healing and to give to yourself what you realized that you needed.

I don't think everybody does that. I know everybody doesn't do that. There are so many people not doing it. So the good thing is that you had awareness of what was possible, at least to start, and I'm sure that grew. Uh, that awareness and that knowledge and that healing expanded as you were going through the process, um, just based on what I know of my own experience and other people's, and I, I feel like there's a lot to be said for.

How important it is to like have the desire to heal too because I experienced a lot of really significant trauma with my ex Like I said, my childhood was pretty good There were things here and there like we all have stuff that happens but in like 10 year relationship and primarily the last five years of it like there were so many things that were happening and when you speak about like Oh, I didn't like intend to write this or it didn't think it was, you know ever gonna share it because I I It's one of those things like I'm holding on to it a little bit to protect myself, um, rather than exposing it.

And I've in the last couple of months, especially been really challenged by that because it's like, I really think I need to, I know I need to share my story to be able to help other people who might be going through what I was going through. But it's not as simple as here, let me explain to you the things that happened.

It's like, You have to share some of the context of what was, what you experienced to give people an understanding of like where you're leading from, but it's really that intersection of the trauma and the healing and then the expansion that happens because you chose to heal that I feel is the most valuable part of making the choice to share that message and share your story.

So like, I really give you a lot of credit, Elisa, for sitting down with yourself and being like, I'm going to be uncomfortable doing this. But there's a reason to do it for yourself and for other people.

[00:39:50] Aliza Hava: Well, I really appreciate that. And, you know, my intention has absolutely been healing through all of my music, but specifically with this record and, um, and helping other people heal.

You know, people have been through similar things, just like you said. And I have heard from people who have heard me play these songs live. Um, people I didn't know, I didn't know their background, didn't know who they were. They, they happened to be at a live performance of mine where I would share a little backstory and then share a song.

And I had these two women who were probably in their like mid to late fifties. They were sisters. They came up to me after a show one day and they were like, when you started singing, they said, first of all, we went through what you went through with our parents, you know, and we don't talk about it. And you never really hear people talking about or singing about it or whatever, but they, they had both, you know, grown up in abusive home and an abusive home.

They said, when I started singing that they felt the pain and the sadness. of their past just kind of lifting off of their bodies and being released. Like they told me they had a somatic experience of pain releasing off of their body while they were listening to me sing. I had never heard anyone say anything like that to me in my life, but that is like, ultimately one of the greatest, One of the greatest validations of this work and also the power of music and transformation and in the studio when I was recording I went through a personal transformation because I was channeling this energy through my body to get these songs out You know some of the songs two of the songs I had already written before this album process started Um, so some of them were already kind of like in process, right?

But the majority of the songs on the record were all new and they were all requiring me to like tap into this part of myself that I had not previously accessed and sing from there. You know, cause if I look back on the last 10 years of my life, when I really started focusing on music and got away from all the activism work and just started focusing on me and my healing and my music, I felt so blocked.

Like, I felt like I couldn't write new, like, it was like trying to get a new song out of me was like really challenging. Um, and this helped me like this process, it helped, it helped me find my voice again. It helped me speak my truth, you know, which I, I felt like, unfortunately, to be honest with you, working, doing all that piece work, you know, it did, it ended, it didn't end well.

It didn't end well. And, and, you know, the jadedness that I have. in many ways about the United Nations has to do with, you know, a lot of bullying and a lot of power tripping. And a lot of people who say that they're working for peace, honestly, just being completely self serving. And that was a, that was a really hard reality for me to accept.

[00:42:58] Nikki La Croce: Yeah, I can imagine.

[00:42:59] Aliza Hava: But you know, I was naively believing like, if I do this, it will make a difference. And the truth is, I think with many people that I met over the years, it, it, it, my work did plant seeds. in, in certain ways. But yeah, I left, I left that word because I was so jaded, um, by that scene. And, um, and I had a hard time like re, recovering from that and finding my, finding my truth again.

[00:43:27] Nikki La Croce: You mentioned sort of taking the, the path towards your own healing and, and trying to find your voice and separating yourself from the, more of the activism side of in, in the direct way that you were doing it. In doing that work, do you feel like part of that was a way to like place your energy towards trying to fix something rather than fixing yourself, but like also maybe not knowing that you needed to fix yourself, if that makes sense?

Sort of like manifesting as helping other people. because of what you needed to heal inside?

[00:44:00] Aliza Hava: So I've given this question a tremendous amount of thought, and I've also had this discussion with many people who are quote unquote peace activists. Most people who are working for peace are pretty fucked up.

They have issues, they're working out on a global scale. Some people are very, you know, are, you know, Like legit diplomats that have jobs and they're working on a political level. But I would say that a lot of people who are, um, who I've met over the years have stuff that they're working out. A lot of Messiah complexes too.

I've met like at least half a dozen people who told me secretly that they felt like they were the Messiah. That was, um, you know, that's a lot. So for me, the irony is that even though, yes, I, I do think that there is some of that going on in there. I did not intentionally get into that work. I did not seek it out.

Mm hmm. It sought me out.

[00:44:55] Nikki La Croce: Yeah.

[00:44:56] Aliza Hava: And I was like, why me? Like, I'm, I'm just, you know, some. Singer, songwriter, I, from New Jersey, like I, I grew up in New York and New Jersey, right. But like at the time that I was, you know, growing up and coming into this like part of my life, this was not on my radar, like to be a peace activist, it wasn't on my radar, you know, I, um, I wanted to be a music therapist or a teacher or both.

I was teaching music. I, I wanted to have a very normal, practical life. That was my trajectory in my mind. And what I discovered is that no matter how practical I tried to be in my life, the universe would create some crazy serendipitous situation. And next thing you know, someone's handing me a plane ticket and I'm on a plane to the Middle East, you know, meeting all of these like heavyweight people in, in, you know, at these levels of, um, of influence.

And my voice and my perspective on the situation is like making a difference in those conversations. So I wasn't looking for it. I kept getting pulled into it, like magnetized. And you know, just to say when I was 18 and I had this kind of cosmic consciousness experience where I felt the presence of God.

And I was like, wow, this is real. Like God is real. And I know it. And I feel it in all my cells. I remember. Having a moment of prayer where I said, God, show me what you want me to do, how I can best serve. I remember saying, take, take me and show me where I can best serve. Because for me, going after this whole, you know, normal, You know, life, career, whatever.

It, when I had that experience of God's presence, I just knew, like, I'm here for something bigger than myself. Show me the way. And that's when all these serendipitous things started happening. Like all these crazy, auspicious, Synchronicities, like if you know anyone who knows me, they will tell you I have the craziest stories of things that you can't even believe happened.

Like the way the things lined up, and then someone gives me a thousand dollars, and it's like go buy yourself a plane ticket, and then, you know, that's it. Next thing you know, I'm at the Nobel Peace Summit, and I'm sitting in a roundtable discussion with all these heavyweights, and, and I'm on the plane, and I'm like, God, why am I going to the Nobel Peace Summit?

Like, tell me why? And it's like, just trust, you'll see, you know, stories like that. And you can't really explain that to people, like, like, in a way where it's like, oh, yeah, like, Oh, yeah, you know, spirit told me to go get on the plate and do that, you know, people think you're crazy. So,

[00:47:52] Nikki La Croce: but you know, I think like when I mentioned, you know, kind of coming more into my spirituality and a comfort level with it recently, like, so right before I lost my mom a couple of years ago, um, and I was leaving this abusive relationship around the same time, I, I feel like I was listening to a lot more content that was, uh, more spiritual, like Zen Buddhist, like the impermanence of things and just really trying to find like a sense of connection to myself again.

And my now wife, um, when we met, like she wasn't raised in religion, she has like a very open mind to spirituality. Like we, she really helped me understand more beyond what, like I was already cultivating for myself in terms of the growth and the connection of that. So, well, like. Yes, it sounds like if this, I say this to lots of people, like if this were like five years ago, I'd probably be like,

[00:48:44] Aliza Hava: well, okay,

[00:48:45] Nikki La Croce: you know, like that sounds ridiculous, but I, I can't even, I, I wouldn't say that now because I do feel like we are divinely guided and however you want to refer to it, spirit, source, God, um, Whatever, like there is something within us that knows and when we trust that and we give space to that, then these really miraculous, beautiful things can unfold.

And I feel like what you're describing is the manifestation of you saying, like, I'm open to what the possibilities are and the universe being like, okay, then here you go. You know,

[00:49:20] Aliza Hava: That is absolutely how it played out. How it played out. And I would think that, you know, for me learning and looking again in hindsight is like, I think I got very attached to an idea about what I was supposed to do with that.

You know, I had this vision and I was obsessed with this vision because I would see it in my dreams and I don't know, I didn't know where it was coming from, but I could see it. Then I would meet people with a similar vision and then we would start working together. You know, and I, I believed so strongly that like, I was to play a role in this, this very special thing happening in the world, um, around catalyzing a moment of peace that would help wake up human consciousness.

You know, um, and in 2012, you know, helped cultivate like a little piece of that with a global meditation and prayer that happened around the world. Um, but I think, you know, I was, I was too attached. I was too personally attached to the outcome of something that I could never truly control or have any control over.

And so I had to let go and I let it go and I let it all go. And I walked away from it. And, um, And I got married and I started a new life and I just started from scratch. And it was, yeah, it was a very interesting time in my life. But again, looking back, I, I don't know why everything happened the way it did.

And again, I don't really understand how life is supposed to work and all of these things. Um, but I have a lot more experience and I have a lot more. I think capacity to, um, trust myself, trust my instincts, um, don't believe everything everybody tells you. I've, I've just experienced too much to, um, buy it at face value anymore.

And, um, again, that's why I've just really put my energy into my own healing process and my own work as a musician and hoping that my, my art will make a difference in somebody's life.

[00:51:34] Nikki La Croce: Well, it sounds like it already has, just based on what you shared about that experience with those two women at your show.

And um, I'm sure that they're not the only ones. They might just be, um, you know, the handful of people that actually get to stand face to face with you and, and share that. I can certainly say it's been really wonderful learning about your experience. I appreciate your really raw vulnerability, Aliza. Like it means a lot.

And I, Appreciate that you trust me with that and with sharing that with listeners because it's stories Like yours and people such as yourself going to those places and opening up about it. It gives other people either, you know, the window into what this looks like and also the opportunity to reflect back to them.

You know, what's my own experience and how can I either relate to that or understand more because of it? And I'm just so glad that we've been had the opportunity to spend this time together. And as we're rounding out the episode, I'd love it if you could share, um, you know, the best place for people to find and follow you.

And, um, I know with the album release coming out that you've got a lot going on there. So anything that you want to share before we hop off here?

[00:52:49] Aliza Hava: Thank you, Nikki. Yeah, I'm on all the streaming platforms, Instagram. Uh, Facebook, all the places I use Instagram, mostly the album is called Into The Light and the, um, yeah, there's 10 songs that take listeners on a transformative journey from trauma to triumph.

Oh, love it. And you can find me at AlizaHava. com and, uh, Yeah, hit me up. Send me a message. I'd love to connect with you.

[00:53:19] Nikki La Croce: Yeah, we'll put all of those in the show notes. And Aliza, I have one more question for you before we go here.

[00:53:26] Aliza Hava: Okay.

[00:53:26] Nikki La Croce: What is the best thing, do you think, that somebody who's listening to your album, what do you hope for people to get out of that?

for themselves or how might they potentially consider their healing journey after listening to it?

[00:53:41] Aliza Hava: Hmm. I would think that it's about introspection. You know, if the, if the music can help you reflect on your own life and your own experiences and see where, you know, shining a light, shining a light on the, um, on the inside.

What's really going on in there? Because if there's anything that I've learned over the years, it's like the subconscious is ruling What's going on? Yeah, unfortunately Unfortunately, you could have all the best intentions of the world, but if you're in the world But if your subconscious is running the show and there's issues going on in there unresolved issues You could be creating terrible experiences for yourself without even realizing it Um, and so the idea is that, you know, these songs can help you reflect on your own journey, your own process, shining a light on those, on those shadowy places that could be very, very hard to look at.

And you know, I didn't heal only by myself. I did have support. I did have a loving partner. I do have a loving partner. And I also have healers who I've worked with over the years, intuitives who I've worked with. Um, I would say don't go it alone, but it definitely is a solo journey to be able to like, be honest with yourself and be willing to look at those things and, um, allow those painful experiences to surface so that you can heal them.

I will say this. I used to have a really hard time sleeping at night because I would wake up in the middle of the night and all these horrible things that had happened to me as a child. And as a teenager, which is play out over and over again, like a movie in my head and I wouldn't be able to sleep.

That went on for years. Then I found a, um, a healer. She does something called craniosacral therapy, but she's also a shaman. So she can work with your spinal fluid. It's, it's kind of hard to find people who do this. So you really have to look for it. Um, she would work with my spinal fluid to release trauma from my spine, but also she would guide me through a meditation where I could talk about these experiences that had happened to me and simultaneously release the emotions while she was working on me, there are other people who do that through like massage therapy.

Um, So it's more of a somatic experience of getting those memories out of your body rather than just a talk therapy experience. Cause the talk therapy can, you know, talk therapy can only go so far. It's important to talk about things, but to move those things out of your body. And I will say, I think, thankfully I don't have those problems anymore with those stories playing out.

at night. I'm very grateful for that. I was able to move the trauma

[00:56:34] Nikki La Croce: out. But that's also, I think the point that you're making too is that you have to be intentional about your healing in that way too. Like you can't just wait for it to go away.

[00:56:42] Aliza Hava: Right, because it doesn't go away. You have to move it out of your body somehow.

You know, my plan is to write a book, I've, I've started writing a book, um, that goes along with every song on the record, like a story that goes along with every song on the record talking about how I came to write that song. And the experience and then the kind of like the theme and the healing process, the part of the process that I was in when I wrote that song.

[00:57:12] Nikki La Croce: Oh, wow.

[00:57:13] Aliza Hava: So that's also something that I'm working on simultaneously with getting the album ready to release. So

[00:57:18] Nikki La Croce: that's really cool. That's super powerful.

[00:57:20] Aliza Hava: Yeah. You know, like, like these background, this background information, you know, if it can help someone, I'm really happy to share because I've tried a lot of things and I know it works for me.

Might not work for everybody, but I can, I can offer the, um, insight that I've gleaned from the experiences.

[00:57:41] Nikki La Croce: Yeah. Well, thank you so much. I'm so glad I asked that question. I feel like that, that's so helpful and inviting, I think, for people to navigate. their healing journeys. Aliza, this has been such a pleasure, and I am so, so grateful that you shared your story with me, and I am looking forward to your new album coming out.

I can't wait to check it out. I, really, one of my favorite things. My whole life has been to recommend music to people. And so, um, because I recently renamed the podcast, can I just say for context, um, it's like what I say when I'm about to compliment somebody is what my wife has told me. And so I'll be like, can I just say, and then lead in with whatever.

And I do this with like recommendations as well. So I can't wait to give your album a, can I just say, and tell people about it and hopefully, you know, make just an, help create more of an impact for the art that you're sharing and the expression that you're sharing with everybody. So just thank you so much for being here with me today.

I appreciate you.

[00:58:42] Aliza Hava: It's totally a pleasure. Thank you for having me. And thank you to everyone who's listening. Absolutely.

[00:58:48] Nikki La Croce: All right, gang, that's it for this episode of Can I Just Say? We'll catch you on the flip side. Gang, thanks so much for joining me for this week's episode. I just appreciate your support and it means so much to me that you tune in week after week.

The best thing that you can do to help spread the word about the podcast is if this episode resonated with you, go ahead and share it with somebody else wherever you listen to your podcasts, or you can go ahead and subscribe to my YouTube channel and share it from there. I also really appreciate it if you can leave a review on Apple Podcasts.

because that really helps give people a better understanding of what the show's about and what you appreciate about the conversations that we're having.